Tween #1: Ohmigod. It’s soooo sandy.
Tween #2: Um, it’s a beach.
Random old man: Damn teeny boppers.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: I hate shoobies.
Tween #1: Ohmigod. It’s soooo sandy.
Tween #2: Um, it’s a beach.
Random old man: Damn teeny boppers.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: I hate shoobies.
College chick on cell: I’m like, ‘Why do I have to have dreams about us breaking up? Why can’t I have dreams like I used to… Like when I was fucking Bob Saget?’
–Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: Ava
Nature’s mishap: I can’t take off this towel.
Logical friend: Why? You do have something on under that.
Nature’s mishap: Well, no.
Logical friend: What?! What happened to your trunks? You didn’t lose them in the water, did you?
Nature’s mishap: No…they’re just gone.
Logical friend, to another guy: I can’t keep my eye off of John for one minute, can I, without him doing something stupid?
–Long Beach, New York
Chick #1: I hope the water isn’t painfully cold.
Chick #2: Eh, even if it is, pain is weakness leaving the body!
Chick #1: It’s pretty cold.
Chick #2: Yeah…Cold is just heat leaving the body.
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Overheard by: wading nearby
Girl: My nipples are so sore! I think they’re sunburned.
Nipple-Savvy friend: Is that even possible?
Girl: What else would explain the pain? [Shows nipple]Nipple-Savvy friend: Maybe your boyfriend shouldn’t bite them so hard, yeah?
Girl: He didn’t bite them!
Nipple-Savvy friend: I can see the bite marks.
Girl: Oh.
–Miami Beach, Florida
Overheard by: A beach bookreader
Little girl, crying: He’s not coming! He said he was going to come, and now he’s not coming!
Apathetic, topless, overly-tan mom: Go home. Eat something.
–Palavas-les-Flots, France (translated from French)
Overheard by: Christine
Tattooed woman with cast: Did you see the dancer on stage with the horse tail?
Pale friend: I am ready for a vacation.
–South Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Scott on SoBe
Black thug: Look at the tits and ass on that one.
White girl to friend: I think he thinks ’cause he’s speaking gangsta I can’t hear him.
–Hamilton Beach, Ontario, Canadia
Overheard by: Steph
Girl: The sign for “Ped Xing” is way too vague. Lots of words begin with “ped-“. It could very well be a pedophile crossing.
–Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Kelly
Teen girl #1: I can’t believe people pee in the ocean — it’s so gross.
Teen girl #2: I know, right!
Teen girl #1: Yeah, I only pee in swimming pools. It’s cleaner.
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: I prefer the toilet
