Bimbette: I thought he was a paraplegic, but it turned out he was just lazy.
–Point Pleasant, New Jersey
Overheard by: Patricia
Bimbette: I thought he was a paraplegic, but it turned out he was just lazy.
–Point Pleasant, New Jersey
Overheard by: Patricia
White chick with dreads: Yeah, I used to pee on my best friend all the time… Well, I guess it was really just one time, but we peed on each other. I was sitting on her lap and I was laughing really hard, and I was like, ‘Oh I have to pee,’ but then I thought it’d be even funnier, so I just let it go. Later she tackled me in the water and peed on me. It was kinda nice — like, really warm.
–Pickerel Lake, Michigan
Overheard by: Maude Lynne
Guy #1: No. She, like, threw the tampon.
Guy #2: At him?
Guy #1: Yeah, to turn him on.
–St. Augustine, Florida
Dude #1: So yeah, she got pretty pissed ’cause we were eating all her food.
Dude #2: That sucks. She’s a bitch.
Dude #1: Yeah, but then we found the peanut butter — dude, it was like we just struck gold! And then we spread it all over her bookshelf.
Dude #2: Nice!
Dude #1: Yeah, it was awesome.
–Spring Lake, New Jersey
Bikini #1: And?
Bikini #2: And what?
Bikini #1: And what happened?
Bikini #2: We had sex.
–Bondi Beach, Australia
Overheard by: Ggary
Chick to whispering friend: You shaved down there so he could stick his tongue in you?!
–Deerfield Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Marg
Suburban man #1: What about Sam Adams?
Suburban man #2: Ugh, I hate all Sam Adams beers. I would never touch the stuff.
Suburban man #1: Why?
Suburban man #2: Well, Sam Adams was a gay man. And, well, I believe in gayness, but I just don’t think gay people can make beer.
–Lake Waubeeka, Connecticut
Overheard by: Hametuka
Hippie chick #1: He’s doing fantastic.
Hippie chick #2: Really?
Hippie chick #1: Yeah, his family was really worried about him for a while, but he’s fine now… He’s, like, the leader of some cult in the valley.
Hippie chick #2: Good for him.
–Venice Beach, California
Daughter: Sorry I’m late.
Mom: That’s okay. We were playing ‘Tourist or not?’ with the passersby. Look — those two — obviously tourists.
Daughter: Oh, kinda like when I play ‘Jew or not?’ when I get bored.
–Ipanema, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Overheard by: Jew tourist
Man: I see you’ve caught the sun a bit!
Fat lady: No, that’s just chub-rub.
–Spain
Overheard by: Vertman
