Surfer #1: I’m thinking about joining this race where you paddle out to Catalina.
Surfer #2: How do you get back?
Surfer #3: Might not come back.
Surfer #4: Heavy.
–Malibu, California
Overheard by: Brandon
Surfer #1: I’m thinking about joining this race where you paddle out to Catalina.
Surfer #2: How do you get back?
Surfer #3: Might not come back.
Surfer #4: Heavy.
–Malibu, California
Overheard by: Brandon
White girl to black friend: Why do black people wear colored skinny jeans?
Black girl: So when it's dark you can see them.
–Tampa, Florida
Dude #1: Ah, see that girl?
Dude #2: Yeah.
Dude #1: She is whack.
Dude #2: Didn’t you date her for like a year?
Dude #1: Yeah, but she wasn’t whack back then.
Dude #2: So it’s safe to say that you made her whack?
Dude #1: It was the crack that made her whack, I just cheated on her a lot.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Mykl
Girl to friend: I don't think I'm going to go into the water. I'm going out later, and sand in my crotch just makes me grumpy.
–Santa Monica Beach, California
Young guy in floral: Are you supposed to wear underwear under these things?
Friend in plaid: I mean, you don't have to… but I do.
–Robert Moses, Long Island, New York
Girl to friends on boardwalk: Were you there when that naked guy walked into the shower?!
–Jones Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: BGonz
Girl to friends: You know what tastes great? Scrambled chicken abortions…
–Tampa, Florida
Four-year-old boy, crouched behind a sand wall, yelling at friends running from waves: Hold your positions! I said, “Hold your positions!”
–Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Girl #1: Alex and I had sex here, on this beach.
Girl #2: When?
Girl #1: Last summer. We were staying at his parents’ beach house and would come out here at night and just do it.
Girl #2: Sounds fun.
Girl #1: Oh, it was. Until we saw this couple walking their dog by the water.
Girl #2: Hm?
Girl #1: It turned out it was Alex’s parents. They totally knew it was us.
Girl #2, laughing: Did they ever say anything about it?
Girl #1: Oh, yeah. His dad took me aside the next morning and told me we could have a private rendezvous one night if I wanted.
Girl #2: No way! That’s disgusting! Oh my god, what a perv!
Girl #1: Yeah, except he and his wife were going to get a divorce anyway…
–Stinson Beach, California
Hungover fat chick: You mean, I didn’t have sex last night?
Hungover skinny chick: Nope.
Hungover fat chick: I could have sworn I had sex with somebody last night…
Hungover skinny chick: Nope.
–Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Overheard by: glinda
