Diet and Weight

Ditz #1: She was drinking a soda, and it wasn’t even diet.
Ditz #2: You’re fucking kidding me. It wasn’t diet?

–San Diego, California

Overheard by: awesome teyie

Wife to another: If you get a frappucino, make sure it's a white chocolate frappucino, because the dark part of the chocolate is where all the calories live.

–Starbucks, Santa Barbara

Chubby middle-aged woman to her male friend: First thing I'm going to do is lose a lot of weight, then I'm gonna get a chemical peel…

–Smith Point, Fire Island, New York

Overheard by: geo

Guy at table full of intently listening people: Imagine 50 pounds of animal defecating inside your house! That's a lot of shit!

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Ana #1: Oh my god, look at that guy. He’s huge!
Ana #2: Like, really, someone needs to introduce him to Weight Watchers or something!
Girl passerby: Hey, snugglebutt! [Gives large guy hug and kiss.]Ana #1: What the fuck?
Ana #2: Girlfriend? That fat whale?
Girl passerby: Husband. And you two might have men in your lives if you actually had boobs rather than a caved-in skeleton chest. Come on, schnookums, let’s go get some ice cream.

–Westerly, Rhode Island

Overheard by: blanket not far away, lauging my ass off

Little boy, looking at large man: I thought only girls had those.


Overheard by: Northern Lad

Trailer guy: So what about Beth?
Trailer girl with child nearby: Beth? Chuck, she can suck my fat pussy.

–Madeira Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Mark

20-something girl #1: So are you gonna go out with him again?
20-something girl #2: No. He's a vegetarian.
20-something girl #1: Well, you can change that.
20-something girl #2: No, he does it for like, moral reasons.
20-something girl #1: Oh. Ugh, no. Forget that, then.

–Long Beach, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Tara

Big man: No, I never blamed my wife for me being fat. I blame her for me being a nympho… Not for being fat, though…

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Blond woman, wrapping towel around her waist: I feel like my thighs are too fat to be at the beach.
Gay friend: Well, shit, now they look like they're in a sausage casing. Downgrade.

–Palmetto, Boca Raton, Florida