Diet and Weight

Girl to friend in hot‐pants: What have you been doing besides looking fat in those shorts all day? 

–Lake Michigan

Kid, skateboarding in parking lot next door: I think those gummy worms gave me diarrhea.

–Huntington Beach, California

Overheard by: Jen

Ten year old boy, flipping over on towel: Man, I’m sweating like a fat chick!

–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Robin M. StPierre

Girl #1, approaching girl #2: Um, you should work on your self‐esteem more.
Girl #2: What? Who are you?
Girl #1: Take your shorts off. You’re gonna get an ugly tan line.
Girl #2: I’m okay with that, thank you.
Girl #1: What do you care if you are fat? Love yourself!
Girl #2: Fuck off! Who asked your opinion? Who are you?
Girl #1: Hey, can I bum a cigarette?

–Topanga State Beach, Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Freaked Out By CA Chicks

Adorable little girl: Daddy, I want a hamburger!
Bitter dad: No, hamburgers will make you fat. Do you want to be fat like your mommy? Is that what you want?

–3rd Street Promenade, Santa Monica, California

Teen girl #1: I thought you hated bikinis.
Teen girl #2: I do.
Teen girl #1: Why are you wearing one?
Teen girl #2: Because even though I look fat in it, guys don’t look at you if you’re in tankinis.
Teen girl #1: But it’s okay for them to see your fat.
Teen girl #2: At least this way you look, and if you catch it on time, you just suck in!

–Vineyard Haven, Massachusetts

Overheard by: bikinibabe

Ditz #1: She was drinking a soda, and it wasn’t even diet.
Ditz #2: You’re fucking kidding me. It wasn’t diet?

–San Diego, California

Overheard by: awesome teyie

Wife to another: If you get a frappucino, make sure it’s a white chocolate frappucino, because the dark part of the chocolate is where all the calories live.

–Starbucks, Santa Barbara

Chubby middle‐aged woman to her male friend: First thing I’m going to do is lose a lot of weight, then I’m gonna get a chemical peel…

–Smith Point, Fire Island, New York

Overheard by: geo

Guy at table full of intently listening people: Imagine 50 pounds of animal defecating inside your house! That’s a lot of shit!

–Virginia Beach, Virginia