Mom to 13-year-old son: What the hell is wrong with you? Were you born this stupid?
–Seaside Heights, New Jersey
Overheard by: bonzo
Mom to 13-year-old son: What the hell is wrong with you? Were you born this stupid?
–Seaside Heights, New Jersey
Overheard by: bonzo
Chick: I don’t know why you wanted to come to a nudist beach… It’s all old, gay, wrinkled men here. They’re all staring at me and the water is so cold — you look teeny.
Dude: I know, I should have just had you walk around naked at home.
–Gunnison Beach, Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Little girl: Look! I can fit an entire Gatorade cap in my mouth! (demonstrates)
Teenage boy to teenage girl: That girl's going places.
–Long Beach Island, New Jersey
Black kid: Damn, I lost my pants.
Mom: Word?
–Belmar, New Jersey
Woman pointing to fishing pier: Where did that bridge used to lead to?
–Wildwood, New Jersey
Overheard by: Lifeguard
Ugly overweight girl in unflattering bikini: Guys don't like you anymore after you've had sex with them.
–Belmar Beach, New Jersey
Older sister on cell speakerphone: Are you looking forward to seeing me on Friday?
Little sister: I am!
Older sister: You’re probably not looking forward to seeing Mike, though, are you?
Little sister: No, I’m looking forward to seeing him, too.
Mike, though speakerphone: Hah!
–Sea Isle City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Cols
Betty Ford dropout: I hate it when you close your eyes and you feel the alcohol, but when you open them you don't.
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Danny
(group of awkward band geeks on the beach)
Girl #1: Did Dave* and Tina* go back to the house again?
Girl #2: Yes, the whole prom weekend all they have been doing is sneaking off to be alone.
Girl #1: You know they’ve been having sex all the time, don’t you?
(boy next to girl #2 sits up)
Girl #2: If you do it too much it’s not fun anymore.
–Trenton Avenue, Sea Girt, New Jersey
Overheard by: Girt Girl
Mother: Honey, do you want some cheddar cheese Pringles?
Kid: Sure.
Mother: See, they have zero grams trans fat. That’s really important now.
–Bradley Beach, Jersey Shore, New Jersey
