Teenage girl to boyfriend: Ew, look. Haley is over there. Whore. She comes here like every day with nothing better to do.
Boyfriend: We come here every day, too.
Teenage girl: Yeah but at least we like, have friends.
–Miami Beach, Florida
Teenage girl to boyfriend: Ew, look. Haley is over there. Whore. She comes here like every day with nothing better to do.
Boyfriend: We come here every day, too.
Teenage girl: Yeah but at least we like, have friends.
–Miami Beach, Florida
Chick #1: You were a complete whore last night.
Chick #2: Look who’s talking! Do I have to mention the time you let Derek go down on you?
Chick #1: Bitch! That guy over there can hear you!
Chick #2: So what?
Chick #1: Listen to how you’re talking about me and my brother. He’s gonna think I’m a complete skank!
Chick #2: I said Derek. He didn’t know who the fuck Derek was until you opened your fuckin’ mouth.
Chick #1: Uh, yeah, I guess you’re right…
–Panama City Beach, Florida
Overheard by: That guy over there
Mother: Will you please stop whining?
Small boy: Shut up, Mommy.
–Martell’s Tiki Bar, Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Trystan
Dude: Hey, where do you girls go for fun? [They ignore him.] You’re just gonna ignore me? Not a ‘Fuck you’? Nothing? Bitch!
Chick: You kiss your dick with that mouth?
–Montego Bay, Jamaica
Preggers: They really shouldn’t let fat people go here. It’s disgusting with their stomachs all poking and out and shit. At least make them wear a shirt!
Other chick: You’re seven months pregnant and wearing a bikini. Doesn’t that include you, too?
Preggers: Shut up, bitch. Of course I don’t count. Guys dig sexy pregnant women.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Glynnis O
French girl to flirty teenage boy: You are very cute, yes, but I am 23.
Teenage boy: Really?
French girl: Yes.
Teenage boy: Dammit.
–Huntington Beach, California
Overheard by: Her American Cousin
Fat guy to wife who’s sunbathing on her stomach: Wow. You need to shave — you got some wild, stray hairs back there.
Wife: Say it louder, asshole.
–Rosemary Beach, Florida
Overheard by: She’s still hotter than you, pal
Four-year-old to 12-year-old: You come over here every single day. No one likes you. Go back to your own camp.
–Lake Champlain, New York
Busty tan blonde in yellow bikini, surrounded by 8 beautiful gay men drinking champagne and smoking pot: I mean, we should really just take a picture of this, and put it on a postcard: “Welcome to Venice Beach, bitches.”
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: TheLurker
Bikini babe: She’s had sex before… but… like… only strap-on sex. So she’s totally a fake lesbian ’cause she still likes dick!
–Anna Bananas, Honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: just getting some beers
