Guys

30-Something business dude: I’ve traveled a lot, man, and I’ve been to Costa Rica, and there are no Indians there. Like, people are educated, and there are people with Master’s degrees driving taxi cabs and stuff!

–Golden Gardens, Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Be-deez nuts

Blond overtanned guy: Wow, I would rather like to be laying on the beach in Spain right now!
Blond overtanned girl: Yeah, and we could like drive down to Mexico and stuff!
Blond overtanned guy: Hmm…no. You don't drive down to Mexico from Spain…
Blond overtanned girl: Oh! Wrong direction? Is it to the left?

–Nauthólsvík Beach, Iceland

Overheard by: the guy who wishes he wasn't blonde

Cop: All right, what’s in the cup?
Young guy: Uh, beer.
Cop: I asked you what’s in the cup. Now give it to me.
Young guy: I just told you, it’s beer!
Cop: You do know it’s illegal to be drinking on the boardwalk, right?
Young guy: It’s soda.
Cop: It’s beer. Give it to me.
Young guy: No! It’s mine!

Young guy runs off with cup.

–Seaside Heights, New Jersey

Overheard by: also kinda drunk

A+

Girl with textbook: What's the capital of the United States?
Boy: Washington, DC?
Girl with textbook: How many eggs to a dozen?
Boy: 12?
Girl with textbook: Where are the Jews?
Boy: Long Island?

–New York

Guy looking in the water: What’s that?
Girl: Dunno, a hat?
Guy: Looks like a taxi driver’s hat.
Girl: His body will wash up soon enough.

–Stoney Beach, Maryland

Overheard by: MonicaIsWayRad

Girl: I like the smell of that. What is it?
Guy: Garbage.

–Huntington Beach, California

Overheard by: zsaint

Guy #1: Look at that girl over there! Now if that isn’t hot, I don’t know what is.
Guy #2: Don’t even dream about it! She’s at least a nine.
Guy #1: Well, then, I’ll just go over and talk to her, and when we start making out, you can cry yourself to sleep.

A guy with a beer walks over and kisses her.

Guy #1: Well played, sir.

–Boardwalk, Jones Beach, New York

Big burly tattooed Bostonian man: They found 'em in Jersey and Lake Michigan.

–Cape Cod Beach, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Nancy and Andrea

Dude: I’m looking for a rock that represents me.

–Sandy Neck Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Katherine

Small child, screaming: Do you have a boat?
Man in giant boat off shore: Yes.

–North Carolina

Overheard by: jen