Guy to couple: Hi!
Blonde wife: See, they're nice here, not like in California.
–Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: cherry picker
Guy to couple: Hi!
Blonde wife: See, they're nice here, not like in California.
–Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: cherry picker
Boston woman in her late 50s: … And it’s not like it used to be. Jamaica Plain has become so culturally diverse… It’s so unfortunate!
Sunburned woman in her late 50s: Um. Where is that sunscreen?
–Surfside Beach, Nantucket, Massachusetts
Overheard by: KP
Chinese guy #1, taking picture: It’s too bad the American flag is fluttering in the background.
Chinese guy #2, posing for the shot: Don’t worry, I’ll photoshop it to a Chinese flag on my computer.
Translated from the Chinese.
–Laguna Beach, California
Overheard by: Jackie
Elderly lady: Come now, y’all! Key West is gonna be loads of fun! They gots the Ripley’s and Cuban people!
–Lido deck, The Carnival Glory, Key West
Overheard by: y’all need an icepack on dat thang?
Woman: Excuse me, is that Catalina?
Man: No, Catalina is over there.
Woman: Oh, well, what island is that?
Man: Um, that’s a ship.
–Palos Verdes, California
Shirtless meathead #1: This is awesome. We should start a shirts-off club.
Shirtless meathead #2: Yeah. We could call it ‘Shirtless in Seattle.’
Shirtless meathead #3: But we don’t live in Seattle.
–Dewey Beach, Delaware
American female tourist #1: So what did you say your favorite condoment was ?
American female tourist #2: Trojans!
American male tourist: You kiddin … Mine is Europe, every time!
–Holland America Cruise, Mediterrean Sea
Overheard by: Vennfix
Driver, turning off radio and looking back: You know you live in a shitty neighborhood when you can't tell if the sirens are coming from outside or your gangster rap cd.
–Sulphur Springs, Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Killsborough
Meathead: God, there are an awful lot of bums here.
Ditzy girl: I know. But think about it, being a bum in San Diego is totally smart. It’s never cold, and they can just sleep on the beach, and the church around the corner from my house feeds them for free every day. They’ve got it made!
Meathead: Totally. Being a bum here must rock. If I ever need to, I’m gonna be a bum here.
Ditzy girl: I know. I don’t know why people would be bums anywhere else. I mean, how stupid. If you’re gonna be homeless, do it in San Diego. Duh.
–Pacific Beach, San Diego, California
Overheard by: American Goods
