Father to daughter, while mother brushes hair: Doesn't that hurt?
Daughter: Nope, I have a strong scallop.
Father: What does that mean? Your head is not made of vegetables!
Mother: What? Vegetables? That's “scallions,” you idiot! And your head is not a scallop, it's a scalp… you're both idiots! (laughs hysterically)
–Robert Moses, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Sugardoll
Boy: Dad, who’s more intelligent? The father or the son?
Dad: The father, of course.
Boy: Who invented the telescope?
Dad: Galileo Galilei.
Boy: Why didn’t his father?
–Boracay, Philippines
Overheard by: jkcalma
Father to 14-month-old daughter: Can daddy get a table dance?”
(toddler starts to bounce up and down)
Mother, taking daughter from father's arms: No, because she wants to give her mama a lap dance!
Disgusted uncle: This is so wrong on so many levels…
–Doheny State Beach, Dana Point, California
Overheard by: Glad I'm related by marriage
Father to 14-month-old daughter: Can daddy get a table dance?”
(toddler starts to bounce up and down)
Mother, taking daughter from father's arms: No, because she wants to give her mama a lap dance!
Disgusted uncle: This is so wrong on so many levels…
–Doheny State Beach, Dana Point, California
Overheard by: Glad I'm related by marriage
Five-year-old girl to dad humming Lion King theme: Would you please stop singing that song?!
Dad: I can’t get it out of my head.
Five-year-old girl: That’s the last time you make me watch that movie with you.
–Palm Beach, Florida
Overheard by: jeff little
Annoyed dad to crying baby: Do you want to be buried alive or what?!
–Honeymoon Island, Florida
Overheard by: Christa
Teen: What’s Hezbollah?
Dad: Well, it’s hard to explain. They’re a terrorist paramilitary organization, but they’re also a humanitarian social services organization. They’re sort of like the Super Wal-Mart of the Middle East.
–Old Orchard Beach, Maine
Six-year-old boy running with hot dog in hand, chased by leash-less Doberman Pinscher: Look, Dad!
Suddenly-observant father: No! Drop that meat!
Six-year-old boy, still running with hot dog in hand: But Dad, I’m learning to speak dog!
–Ocean Beach’s Dog Beach, California
Overheard by: fishwhisperer
Six-year-old boy, fully dressed in Lacoste: I am almost your age.
Father, fully dressed in Lacoste: You are not almost my age.
–Atlantis Resort & Casino, Bahamas
