Six-year-old boy, fully dressed in Lacoste: I am almost your age.
Father, fully dressed in Lacoste: You are not almost my age.
–Atlantis Resort & Casino, Bahamas
Six-year-old boy, fully dressed in Lacoste: I am almost your age.
Father, fully dressed in Lacoste: You are not almost my age.
–Atlantis Resort & Casino, Bahamas
Guy, about his infant son’s abnormally long ass crack: Some day that one’s gonna be the toast of San Francisco.
–Sullivan’s Island, South Carolina
Overheard by: Reading Man
Parent: Joshua, no! Don’t touch the sand! No! No! No! Put it down! Joshua! Don’t touch the sand!
–Long Beach, California
Overheard by: gunky
Four-year-old southerner: Dad! We should cut up a fish! We should cut up a fish and watch it bleed!
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: beach*blonde
Trailer trash girl: Daddy, should I put this in the toilet or hang it on the wall?
Dad: In the toilet, of course!
–Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts
Little girl: Do you have a stronger brain or a stronger heart?
Dad: Who?
Little girl: You?
Dad: Both.
–Rye, New York
Overheard by: Lobster
Tween in one-piece: Amber’s parents let her wear a bikini.
Dad: But her parents love her.
Teen brother: No, they don’t. She’s just a 10-year-old slut.
–Lake Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canadia
Overheard by: Jenny
Little boy, somewhat sheepishly: Dad, are you fascinated by rocks?
Dad, sincerely enthusiastic: I love rocks!
–Venice Beach, California
Girl: Hey, Daddy, look, I am riding a giant sand penis.
Daddy: I really don’t want to ever hear you say that again.
Girl: Daddy, do you want to ride the giant sand penis?
–Biloxi, Mississippi
Overheard by: Lori Lou Who
Man with small child on his shoulders, rubbing his bald head: Rub harder! Make a wish!
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Arlene M Franks
