Girl: We need to date boys who are smart and rich. Our boyfriends are stupid and poor and don’t even have the same wireless provider as us.
–Laguna Beach, California
Girl: We need to date boys who are smart and rich. Our boyfriends are stupid and poor and don’t even have the same wireless provider as us.
–Laguna Beach, California
Bimbette looking at guy reading GRE study guide: What’s that?
Guy: Huh? [Bimbette points to title.] It’s a test I need to take to get my Master’s. [Bimbette looks confused.] It’s like the SATs for graduate school.
Bimbette: So you’re, like, smart and shit. [Guy stares at her and then walks away.]
–St. Pete Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Chicagoan in FL
WASP girl: I saw three of them, and they all looked the same. I think they were Mexicanese?
–Bar Harbor, Maine
Overheard by: dulcineaesq
Teenage girl: So I’ve decided not to be a slut anymore.
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
Blonde: Why is this water, like, salty?
Brunette: Uhhh, it’s sea water — the ocean is salty.
Blonde: Yeah, but I thought this was the Gulf…
–Clearwater Beach, Florida
Overheard by: tourist lover
Brunette: I’ve always wanted a tattoo, but I don’t think I’m going to get one. You can’t get buried in a Jewish cemetery if you have a tattoo.
Blonde: Why would you want to get married in a Jewish cemetery?
Brunette: Not married. Buried.
Blonde: Oh… So, are you Jewish?
Brunette: Yes.
Blonde: What is it with Jews always wanting to marry other Jews?
Brunette: I guess part of it is that the Jews have been persecuted so much, so people want to make sure to perpetuate the race.
Blonde: Really? Like who? Who persecuted the Jews?
Brunette: Um… well… the Nazis.
–Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Girl to friend: Oh my god, the Titanic was so sad. Her true love is poor, and then he dies.
–Crane Beach, Massachusetts
Girl to friend: Oh my god, the Titanic was so sad. Her true love is poor, and then he dies.
–Crane Beach, Massachusetts
Blonde: Wait, do Jewish people burn or tan?
Meathead: Well, some are pasty and some are really dark.
Blonde: Yeah, ’cause, like, she’s Jewish and she gets a tan. I came into work the other day and my hair was curly, and everyone was like, ‘Whoa!’ But then I told them I’m half-Jewish, so they understood.
–Manchester by the Sea, Massachusetts
Overheard by: i burn and i’m not
Skinny, half naked black guy wearing purple booty shorts: “do you guys do drugs?”
College kids: “no…”
Black guy: “oh I do…I'm a drug addict. Yeah, I just came from a rave, there are some crazy people out there! Why are y'all sitting here in the middle of venice beach? It gets dangerous here at night!”
College kid (holding an orange): “well, I'm strapped, so…”
Black guy: “is that an orange? Can I have it?” (takes orange and walks away).
–Venice Beach
Overheard by: Keidi
