Bimbettes

See, It's Sacred, and that's Why the Gays Don't Deserve It

Honeymooning hubby: Honey, do you want a drink?
Absentminded wifey, reading: Sure.
Honeymooning hubby: Do you want a sandwich?
Absentminded wifey: Whatever.
Honeymooning hubby, exasperated: Will you give me a massage?
Absentminded wifey: Whatever.
Attractive blonde stranger: I’ll give you a massage, hottie.
Absentminded wifey, looking up from her book: Back off, he’s mine [she goes back to her book].
Honeymooning hubby, whispering to blonde: So… Can I meet you later, then?

–Hilton Head, South Carolina

Overheard by: eager ears

Tonight's Movie: The Da Vinci Clod

Blonde: What is autism?
Brunette: Are you serious?
Blonde: Isn't that when you write upside-down?

–Tampa, Florida

It's Made of Corn Starch

Girlfriend: Oh my god, I am so hot!
Boyfriend: Then go in the water and cool off.
Girlfriend: I can’t! This bikini is dry clean only!

–Long Island, New York

Overheard by: carenexplainsitall

On Landlines, Mostly

Ditzy chick: What are you doing today?
Skater kid: Chillin’ like a villain.
Other girl: The ’90s called – they want ‘Chillin’ like a villain’ back.
Ditzy chick: How do the ’90s call?

–Ventnor, New Jersey

Totally — You Sound Just Like Sean Connery

Californian girl: Oh my god, I am, like, so brown now. Do you think when we go back to the hostel and put on our English accents people will, like, not know who we are?

–Lagos Beach, Portugal

"Summer Lovin" from Grease, in a Nutshell

Bikini #1: And?
Bikini #2: And what?
Bikini #1: And what happened?
Bikini #2: We had sex.

–Bondi Beach, Australia

Overheard by: Ggary

He's a Full-Time Burnout

Girl with lower standards: I think you should go out with Spook. Yeah, I like him for you.
Girl with higher standards: He’s a drug dealer. Why would I want to date a drug dealer?
Girl with lower standards: He’s not a drug dealer.
Girl with higher standards: He sells me weed all the time.
Girl with lower standards: That’s just his part-time job.

–Cabbage Beach, Paradise Island, Bahamas

Arguably Kinder than Playing the Class Card

White hicks in car let out low wolf whistles.

White chick on sidewalk: I’m sorry, we’re just not into white guys right now.

–Destin, Florida

Overheard by: Beach Bum

Well, It's Nighttime There Now, So I'm Not Sure

Dude: I have a dog at home, too — it’s a golden retriever.
Australian chick: Really? What color is it?

–Boracay Island, Philippines

Overheard by: Kiteboarder

Those Aren't Girls, Sir

American girl #1: Does your boyfriend shave his balls?
American girl #2: I didn’t know that men do that.
Nearby British man: Is this what young American girls talk about on their holiday?

–Cassis, France

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