Bimbette #1: I’m so bored.
Bimbette #2: Me, too.
Bimbette #1: I would eat my own hand just for some fun.
–North Sea, Holland
Bimbette #1: I’m so bored.
Bimbette #2: Me, too.
Bimbette #1: I would eat my own hand just for some fun.
–North Sea, Holland
Late-20s chick #1: Don’t the tourists understand the laws of seagull shitting? I mean, if they feed them, they are going to crap all over the entire beach.
Late-20s chick #2: At least the parade of Hare Krishnas has passed.
–Jacksonville Beach, Florida
Overheard by: unMuse
Girl #1: Man, I think I got a yeast infection from that dude.
Girl #2: That fucking sucks.
Girl #1: Tell me about it. Getting laid is killing my sex life.
–Long Beach, California
Overheard by: hillary claire
Bimbette: Yeah, I love that show. They show clips from all around the world like Britain and the UK and stuff.
–Pacific Beach, San Diego, California
Overheard by: Sarah
Teen #1 looking down at bikini top: [Sighs] I wish my boobs were bigger. I can’t wait until one day when I’m pregnant — then they’ll grow.
Teen #2: Why don’t you go on birth control? That made Jen’s* and Michelle’s* get a whole cup bigger.
Teen #3: Yeah, Kelly’s*, too.
Teen #1: Really?! Oh, man! I’m gonna go on birth control and get knocked up. Then they’d be huge!
–Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: CAT
Blonde, very loudly: You know, if I was a guy, these bikini bottoms would really cut into my balls!
–Key West, Florida
Overheard by: Anne
Blonde: Why is the water so much saltier on this coast? They really need to stop putting all their extra salt in the water.
Dude: Extra salt?
Blonde: Yeah, isn’t that what the government does — just dumps the barrels of extra salt into the water?
–Daytona Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Kristin
Blonde: Oh my god, I’ve been watching ‘Shark Week’ on TV, and this guy got his hand bitten off. It was crazy! It was a show about survivors, and they showed the scars and everything!
Brunette: That is crazy. I don’t know how I’d live without my hands. I’d rather have the shark bite off my arm.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Steve
Brunette teen: Last time I was here with Tony, we boned. He told me it was fun and romantic and everyone has to have sex on the beach once in their lives. It was the worst. I found sand in my ass for, like, two weeks.
Blonde teen: Ugh, I hate when that happens.
Brunette teen: What?
Blonde teen: It’s a long story, but it involves a sand box.
–Field 6, Jones Beach, New York
Drunk man: [Bumps into girl and puts his hand around her to move her aside.] Sorry.
Girl: Eww! You’re dirty!
Drunk man: C’mon, you know you like it!
Girl: Eww! [Drunk man walks away.] Call me!!
–Manhattan Beach, California
Overheard by: Snoog
