Bimbette to friend: Why is it so cold? It’s a beach!
Passerby: Yeah, a beach in November… Dipshit.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: dr. obvious
Chick #1: You can see Venezuela on a clear day from here.
Chick #2: Really?! I would love to go to Venezuela — I hear it’s a really nice island.
Chick #1: Um… Island as in South America…?
Chick #2: It’s right off of South America, right?
Chick #1: I guess you should have paid attention in geography class.
Chick #2: What does math have to do with it?
–Aruba
Overheard by: Erin from New York
Teen bimbette: So I heard about this new band that just came out. The lead singer is really cute… they’re called The Doors.
–South California
JAP #1: So yeah, Aaron* and Rachel* hooked up last night.
JAP #2: Oh my god! What a fucking slut!
JAP #1: Didn’t you and Rachel give Aaron a blow job last week, at the same time?
JAP #2: Yeah, so… Your point?
JAP #1: Oh, nevermind… Just wanted to know what you thought was slutty and what wasn’t.
–Boca Beach Club, Boca Raton, Florida
Overheard by: glad i picked the boca hotel to stay at..
Chick #1: You were a complete whore last night.
Chick #2: Look who’s talking! Do I have to mention the time you let Derek go down on you?
Chick #1: Bitch! That guy over there can hear you!
Chick #2: So what?
Chick #1: Listen to how you’re talking about me and my brother. He’s gonna think I’m a complete skank!
Chick #2: I said Derek. He didn’t know who the fuck Derek was until you opened your fuckin’ mouth.
Chick #1: Uh, yeah, I guess you’re right…
–Panama City Beach, Florida
Overheard by: That guy over there
Girl on cell: Yeah, so my dad said he wouldn’t pay for college, but he would pay for my wedding, and I’d rather have a big party than study stupid shit for four years, so I’ll just do that…
–Marathon, Florida
Overheard by: Nicole
Tan chick on towel: So, I was like, ‘And what about the donkeys? Like, do they enjoy sex like we do?’
Pale fat chick next to her: I would guess so. I mean, I had a friend who sucked one off one time, so why not?
–Clearwater Beach, Florida
Overheard by: …what?
Girl #1, whispering: Oh my god, I’m choking on this macaroni.
Girl 2: Then how are you talking?
Girl 1: The macaroni is stuck in my throat straight up, and I’m breathing through the hole in the noodle.
Girl 2: Ohhh, that makes sense.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: jenny
Biotech #1: Wow. Did you see his new girlfriend over there?
Biotech #2: Yeah. She’s got cottage cheese legs.
Bimbette: Really? Where is she? Is she fat?
Biotech #2: It’s not that she’s fat, it’s just that… well… she’s built like a linebacker.
Bimbette, looking in opposite direction: Hey, look — volleyball!
–Hamburg Beach, Germany
Puerto Rican princess: Hey! Hey, you – Mr. Captain or whatever.
Steward: Yes, ma’am?
Puerto Rican princess: Does this elevator go to the front of the ship?
Steward: Excuse me?
Puerto Rican princess: Where is the elevator that goes to the front of the ship?
Random passenger: Someone throw her overboard now and put her out of my misery.
–Caribbean Cruise, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: also waiting for elevator
