Girl #1: So anyway, when me and Dale went shopping last night–
Girl #2: —No! ‘Dale and I’…
Girl #1: … No, you didn’t come.
–Hotel, Sydney, Australia
Girl #1: So anyway, when me and Dale went shopping last night–
Girl #2: —No! ‘Dale and I’…
Girl #1: … No, you didn’t come.
–Hotel, Sydney, Australia
Lady #1: You can take that dog on board?
Lady #2: Sure, but he has to be small enough to fit under the seat in front of you. And you have to pay 75 dollars for each leg.
Lady #1: 75 dollars for each leg of the dog?!
–Tampa airport, Florida
Two girls are dancing in their car, while listening to ‘Boom Boom Boom Boom.’
Driver’s seat: Dude, I wonder if people are staring at us right now.
Passenger’s seat: We’re in a car. No one can see us! We have tinted windows!
Driver’s seat: Dude. All the windows are down.
–Spring Lake, New Jersey
Overheard by: Thank god I have a high IQ
Bimbette: You know what I like?
Brother: …What?
Bimbette: No, I don’t know, I was asking. Like, for serious.
–Kiawah Island Resort, Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: hannah
Girl: We need to date boys who are smart and rich. Our boyfriends are stupid and poor and don’t even have the same wireless provider as us.
–Laguna Beach, California
Bimbette looking at guy reading GRE study guide: What’s that?
Guy: Huh? [Bimbette points to title.] It’s a test I need to take to get my Master’s. [Bimbette looks confused.] It’s like the SATs for graduate school.
Bimbette: So you’re, like, smart and shit. [Guy stares at her and then walks away.]
–St. Pete Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Chicagoan in FL
WASP girl: I saw three of them, and they all looked the same. I think they were Mexicanese?
–Bar Harbor, Maine
Overheard by: dulcineaesq
Teenage girl: So I’ve decided not to be a slut anymore.
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
Blonde: Why is this water, like, salty?
Brunette: Uhhh, it’s sea water — the ocean is salty.
Blonde: Yeah, but I thought this was the Gulf…
–Clearwater Beach, Florida
Overheard by: tourist lover
Brunette: I’ve always wanted a tattoo, but I don’t think I’m going to get one. You can’t get buried in a Jewish cemetery if you have a tattoo.
Blonde: Why would you want to get married in a Jewish cemetery?
Brunette: Not married. Buried.
Blonde: Oh… So, are you Jewish?
Brunette: Yes.
Blonde: What is it with Jews always wanting to marry other Jews?
Brunette: I guess part of it is that the Jews have been persecuted so much, so people want to make sure to perpetuate the race.
Blonde: Really? Like who? Who persecuted the Jews?
Brunette: Um… well… the Nazis.
–Sandy Hook, New Jersey
