Offers and requests

Hippie to friend: Can we go over there and absorb the energy of this band for a minute?

–Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: Rae

Customer: Can I have a Stella [Artois]?
Bartender: Ermm… She's not working today.

–Pool Bar, Ayia Napa, Cyprus

Girl, wearing lifeguard swimsuit and applying sunblock: Do my hole… NO! My back hole!

–Sacandaga Lake, New York

Overheard by: sherpa

Little girl: Daddy! Guess what I am supposed to be!
Dad: You are a crab.
Little girl: Right! Okay, Daddy, now it’s your turn.

Dad sits there, talking to his wife.

Little girl: Daddy! You are supposed to be something!
Dad: I am. I am being a cool guy.

–Horseshoe Bay Ferry Terminal, Vancouver, Canadia

Guy: Hey, beautiful ladies! My name is Sean. I run a company that increases the number of hits your website gets on search engines. I’m sure I could help you in your line of work What do you do?
Woman: I’m a neurosurgeon.
Guy: Hey, it’s good to see that even a brain surgeon has time to head out to the beach. Let me show you how my company can help you get more business.
Woman: I’m sure it can’t.
Guy: Well then, how ’bout I just give you my number?
Woman: How about I just give you a lobotomy?

–Nahant Beach, Massachusetts

Guy: I’m coming! I’m coming! Be gentle!

–Through a motel wall, Cape May, New Jersey