Latina #1: I wanna go to Italy.
Latina #2: Girl, you don't even know how to spell “Italy.”
Latina #1: Well…do you?
–Smiths Point, New York
Overheard by: suzz
Middle-aged guy #1: I’m gettin’ old, buddy.
Middle-aged guy #2: We’re all gettin’ old.
Middle-aged guy #1: Yeah, but first I was just gettin’ too tired to have sex, so I was jerkin’ off a lot. Now I’m too tired to even jerk off.
Middle-aged guy #2: Shut up. You’re getting me depressed.
–Boardwalk, Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Bikini #1: Duuude, your birthmark has gotten bigger…
Bikini #2: That’s because my thigh has gotten bigger.
–The Hamptons, New York
Kid #1: Hey -how you gonna go in the water, come back and be dry already?
Kid #2: Cause I’m black.
Kid #1: [Pause.] Hey, shut up.
–Brighton Beach, New York
Overheard by: Emily
Druggie hipster #1 to friend out of earshot: Hey! Hey, you! Hey! Come here!
Druggie hipster #2: Ugh, what’s her name? Come here! Hey!
Black guy passerby: Hey, white bitch!
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Audra
Guy: This tastes like nuclear horse piss!
–Jones Beach Theater, New York
Man, walking with friend on pier, pointing at full moon reflecting water: In Hawaii, you see the stars reflecting in the water.
–Coney Island Boardwalk, New York
Overheard by: Janelle
Mom: Honey, what are you doing?
Daughter: Going under the umbrella, because I don’t want my butt to get parched.
–Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: Kara
Latino guy #1: I'm gonna fuck her so hard she'll feel it in her culo.
Latino guy #2: If she really loved you, she'd let you stick it in her culo.
–Boardwalk, Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Geni
