College guy: Were you in the Airborne?
Guy in wheelchair wearing ‘Army Airborne’ hat and playing guitar for money: No, but the hat helps on holiday weekends.
–Ocean City, Maryland
College guy: Were you in the Airborne?
Guy in wheelchair wearing ‘Army Airborne’ hat and playing guitar for money: No, but the hat helps on holiday weekends.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Boy: I told my mom I wanted to be a pirate, and she got really pissed at me and told me they rape and kill and pillage!
–Ocean City Beach, Maryland
Girl: I’ve counted more than 70 sparkly purses on the boardwalk tonight. What’s wrong with these people?
Guy #1: Every year it’s a new beach trend.
Guy #2: You’ve counted 70 purses? The question is what’s wrong with you.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Preggers: They really shouldn’t let fat people go here. It’s disgusting with their stomachs all poking and out and shit. At least make them wear a shirt!
Other chick: You’re seven months pregnant and wearing a bikini. Doesn’t that include you, too?
Preggers: Shut up, bitch. Of course I don’t count. Guys dig sexy pregnant women.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Glynnis O
Conservative mom on cell: Julia, you just can’t bring your kids here and let them swim naked… What? Yes, Julia, it’s illegal.
–51st Street, Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Unexpecting Beach Reader
Chick on cell: Yeah, we got a ticket for going 80 miles per hour on the way here, though. Wanna know why? We were trying to catch up to a giant truck full of chickens!
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: K
