Guy to Dachshund: Sit!
Girl: He doesn't really need to sit, he is so close to the ground.
–Tampa, Florida
Husband: Let’s take a surfing lesson.
Wife: The water’s too cold.
Husband: We can rent a wet suit.
Wife: That would be like wearing someone else’s condom.
–Cannon Beach, Oregon
Overheard by: macdog
Guy: I just gave birth to a beach ball, and my wrist is sore.
Girl: It must work differently for guys.
–North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Frenchie
Young mother #1: I am just so pissed that I have to wait until Wednesday to find out if I’m pregnant or not. I really want to go out drinking tonight.
Young mother #2: So? I never let that hold me back.
Young mother #1: Yeah, that’s gotta be why little Eric* has a third nipple.
–Sachuest Beach, Newport, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Rebecca
Mom (exasperatedly): Come on children, you guys going to give me heart failure!
Six-year-old: You going to give yourself heart failure, cause you wouldn't leave us alone.
–Bridgetown, Barbados
Spanish teen: Yo, mami, how ’bout I take a picture of me and you with that camera?
Preppy chick: How ’bout you’re not touching my camera?
Spanish teen: Oh, ouch! I’ll let you hold my phone. It’s worth lots!
Preppy chick: This camera is probably worth more than you are to your own mother.
–Bayfront Beach, Hamilton, Ontario, Canadia
