Girl: Excuse me, what lake is this?
Street vendor: The Atlantic one.

–Portland, Maine

Woman #1: Oh my goodness, you should see your daughter! It looks like she’s been stabbed; it’s the cutest thing.
Woman #2: Oh, really?
Woman #1: Yes! She’s been eating cherries, and the juice has run all down her front and all over her hands. It looks like she has blood all over her–it’s adorable!

–Old Orchard Beach, Maine

Overheard by: shawshank

Preppy 60-something #1: Now you only owe me 10,463 martinis.
Preppy 60-something #2: Yep, she owes me a bunch, too.

–Kennebunkport, Maine

Overheard by: Amused Locals

Girl: Instead of “fisting” would elephants do “trunking”?
Guy: Wouldn't that be redundant? You know, trunk… Penis…
Girl: Yeah, maybe trunking is just elephant oral. (pause) That is a sentence I never thought I would ever say.

–Bar Harbor, Maine

Suburban tourist #1: Remember that time when I threw the cat out in the snow and that guy was staring at me?
Suburban tourist #2: And then John got christened by the cat.
Suburban tourist #1: Yeah, I don't think that cat had peed in six months. It was like a fire hose.
Wife: That John and his temper…

–All Day Breakfast, Kennebunkport, Maine

Overheard by: Amused Locals

Mother to toddler in wetsuit: Look! There's a naked baby! Do you wanna be naked and play with the naked baby? Let's go meet the naked baby.

–Lake Beach, Maine

Soccer mom to friend: Masturbation… Ejaculation… All the stuff.

–Drift Inn Beach, Port Clyde, Maine

Overheard by: Sara

Grandmother to two small children near cliff: Only one of you at a time, I don't want to be responsible for two small children falling off the cliff.

–Fort Williams Park, Maine

Smart guy: The ocean would be so much better if there wasn’t salt in it. Then it’d be perfect.

–Old Orchard Beach, Maine

Overheard by: shawshank

Teen: What’s Hezbollah?
Dad: Well, it’s hard to explain. They’re a terrorist paramilitary organization, but they’re also a humanitarian social services organization. They’re sort of like the Super Wal-Mart of the Middle East.

–Old Orchard Beach, Maine