Little girl: If a pig spits in your eye, you'll get the flu.
–Takapuna Beach, Auckland, New Zealand
Little girl: If a pig spits in your eye, you'll get the flu.
–Takapuna Beach, Auckland, New Zealand
Four-year-old camper: Do you got a car?
14-year-old counselor: Uh, I can’t drive.
Four-year-old camper: So does your mom bring you here?!
14-year-old counselor: Yeah. I mean, I live in El Cerrito.
Four-year-old camper: But does that mean you live with your mom or something? Aren’t you in college?!
14-year-old counselor: Well, the truth is my license was revoked after I ran over those aliens. The FBI was angry because they needed to talk to them about the plans for the United States embassy on Mars, but it has to be kept hush-hush since the North Koreans may be on to them.
Four-year-old camper: Ohhh…
–California
Little girl staring at a plastic bag washing up on the beach: Ewww! Don’t let that touch me!
Mom: Don’t worry, honey. It can’t hurt you. It’s just a Jersey jellyfish.
–Union Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Brian
Mom: What did that lady ask you?
Little girl, wearing “Cerveza With a Smile” shirt: She asked what my shirt said.
Mom: Do you know what it says?
Grandpa: Service with a smile.
–Cedar Point, Ohio
Overheard by: devin the artist
Little boy: Mommy, is it still morning?
Mom: No, honey, it’s nighttime now.
Little boy: But you told me it was morning five minutes ago!
–Hilton Head, South Carolina
Overheard by: Arya
Mother to child: What?! Is this writing on your arm? Oh, no…don't say you don't know! Tell me: was it a little magic elf that did this to you?! Was it?!
–Sasco Beach, Fairfield, Connecticut
Overheard by: halliefaith
Jehovah’s witness kid #1: Asshole!
Jehovah’s witness kid #2: Geez, Justin! We just read the frickin’ Bible! Stop talking like that!
–Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: collin
