Ditz: Do you still tan if you don’t lie down?
–Jones Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: the imbiber
Ditz: Do you still tan if you don’t lie down?
–Jones Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: the imbiber
Boundary-Conscious chick: Oh my God, why is that seagull here? I thought this was a private beach!
–Westhampton Beach, New York
Blond overtanned guy: Wow, I would rather like to be laying on the beach in Spain right now!
Blond overtanned girl: Yeah, and we could like drive down to Mexico and stuff!
Blond overtanned guy: Hmm…no. You don't drive down to Mexico from Spain…
Blond overtanned girl: Oh! Wrong direction? Is it to the left?
–Nauthólsvík Beach, Iceland
Overheard by: the guy who wishes he wasn't blonde
Sober girl in crowded bar: I forgot what assholes people are.
–dive bar in Santa Cruz
Guy looking in the water: What’s that?
Girl: Dunno, a hat?
Guy: Looks like a taxi driver’s hat.
Girl: His body will wash up soon enough.
–Stoney Beach, Maryland
Overheard by: MonicaIsWayRad
Girl: I like the smell of that. What is it?
Guy: Garbage.
–Huntington Beach, California
Overheard by: zsaint
Girl: They should make people wear shoes on the beach.
Fratboy: Why?
Girl: It smells like toes.
Fratboy: It doesn’t smell like toes. You’re smelling your lipstick.
–Cannon Beach, Oregon
Girl #1: So…plans for tonight?
Girl #2: Yeah, actually. I'm going out with Beto. He just moved to Niterói with his boyfriend.
Girl #1: Wait. What? His *boyfriend*? So he finally came out, eh?
Girl #2: Well…he didn't come out per se. He just said, “So, this is my boyfriend, Bruno.”
–Ipanema Beach, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
