STDs

20-something girl #1, coming out of water: Oh my god! I got stage fright, I couldn't go.
20-something girl #2: Oh, there's Danielle!! (points down to beach)
20-something girl #1: As soon as she gets here we're going back in, I have to pee so badly!
20-something girl #2: Hey, Danielle!
Danielle: Ohmigod, you guys! My herpes burns so badly!
(all three walks into water)

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Sweedie

Little girl, running happily: Mom, dad!
Little boy: Guess what we caught!
Both, in perfect unison: Crabs!

–San Diego, California

Overheard by: the girl who received dirty looks from the parents for laughing

Anorexic girl: I wish I had AIDS. I hear you lose a lot of weight that way.

–San Francisco, California

Overheard by: so not PC

Small child to mother as they watch hermit crabs: Mommy, are these the same kind of crabs Daddy brought home before we left?

–Biloxi, Mississippi

Overheard by: Rick

Random guy named Mike, after hitting on girl for twenty minutes: You know, I've always wondered, can crabs get crabs?

–Ship Bottom, Long Beach Island, California

Overheard by: beachweek '06

Italian girl: So, um… How do you know if you have crabs?
Frat boy: What?
Italian girl: Well, I’m not sure if I just have another yeast infection or dry skin or something…
Frat boy: Why are you asking me this?
Italian girl: Because we slept together last week and now I itch!

–Point Pleasant, New Jersey

Overheard by: jerseygirl

Girl to friend walking down the boardwalk: Yeah, just keep in mind he does have an STD.

–San Diego, California

Overheard by: Hilary

40-something guy: That must be like an all-you-can-eat salad bar of STDs!
60-something guy: She’s a twin.

–Pancake House, Redondo Beach, California

Guy on cell: I don't know, it may just be the chlamydia talking, though.

–Destin, Florida

Boy, about people stepping on crabs: Looks like I'm not the only one with crab problems.

–Jones Beach, New York