Small child to mother as they watch hermit crabs: Mommy, are these the same kind of crabs Daddy brought home before we left?

–Biloxi, Mississippi

Overheard by: Rick

Random guy named Mike, after hitting on girl for twenty minutes: You know, I've always wondered, can crabs get crabs?

–Ship Bottom, Long Beach Island, California

Overheard by: beachweek '06

Italian girl: So, um… How do you know if you have crabs?
Frat boy: What?
Italian girl: Well, I’m not sure if I just have another yeast infection or dry skin or something…
Frat boy: Why are you asking me this?
Italian girl: Because we slept together last week and now I itch!

–Point Pleasant, New Jersey

Overheard by: jerseygirl

Girl to friend walking down the boardwalk: Yeah, just keep in mind he does have an STD.

–San Diego, California

Overheard by: Hilary

40-something guy: That must be like an all-you-can-eat salad bar of STDs!
60-something guy: She’s a twin.

–Pancake House, Redondo Beach, California

Guy on cell: I don't know, it may just be the chlamydia talking, though.

–Destin, Florida

Boy, about people stepping on crabs: Looks like I'm not the only one with crab problems.

–Jones Beach, New York

Woman #1: How are you, Sam? I haven't seen you forever.
Woman #2: We need to catch up more often. How are you?
Woman #1: Don't even ask. Only a couple of weeks ago I realized I had crabs, and just yesterday I found out my daughter has herpes. (sighs)
Woman #2: The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. At least you're getting some action.

–Melbourne, Australia

Overheard by: Marissa

Guy: So I went to the party last night… and she gave me a BJ. Told you I was beast.
Friend: Well, she has herpes, so you should get tested.
Guy: That whore!

–Holden Beach, North Carolina

30-something Guido to pretty girl: Hey. I hear you're looking for a stud. I've got the STD, all I need is “u.”

–Pacific Beach, California