Guy on cell: I don’t know, it may just be the chlamydia talking, though.

–Destin, Florida

Boy, about people stepping on crabs: Looks like I’m not the only one with crab problems.

–Jones Beach, New York

Woman #1: How are you, Sam? I haven’t seen you forever.
Woman #2: We need to catch up more often. How are you?
Woman #1: Don’t even ask. Only a couple of weeks ago I realized I had crabs, and just yesterday I found out my daughter has herpes. (sighs)
Woman #2: The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. At least you’re getting some action.

–Melbourne, Australia

Overheard by: Marissa

Guy: So I went to the party last night… and she gave me a BJ. Told you I was beast.
Friend: Well, she has herpes, so you should get tested.
Guy: That whore!

–Holden Beach, North Carolina

30‐something Guido to pretty girl: Hey. I hear you’re looking for a stud. I’ve got the STD, all I need is “u.”

–Pacific Beach, California

Random guy to little boy: Hey, you have fun today?
Little boy: Yeah, sure, but I still haven’t found those crabs.

–Hilo, Hawaii

Overheard by: Gwen

Father to young son: Some holes have crabs!

–Alma, New Bruswick, Canadia

Dude: I don’t have an STD… But I want one!

–Panama City Beach, Florida

Overheard by: katie

Four‐year‐old boy scampering on shore: She’s got crabs! She’s got crabs! She’s got crabs!
Mom wading in water: Stop saying that!
Four‐year‐old boy: But you do… They’re all over down there!

–Sharky’s Beach, Port Charlotte, Florida

Girl #1: Man, I think I got a yeast infection from that dude.
Girl #2: That fucking sucks.
Girl #1: Tell me about it. Getting laid is killing my sex life.

–Long Beach, California

Overheard by: hillary claire