Bimbette: What is it about the beach that attracts sunlight?
Guy: Attracts sunlight?
Bimbette: Yeah, it’s always sunnier at the beach.
Guy: Uh, maybe you need to sit in the shade for a while.
–Sandy Point State Park, Maryland
Bimbette: What is it about the beach that attracts sunlight?
Guy: Attracts sunlight?
Bimbette: Yeah, it’s always sunnier at the beach.
Guy: Uh, maybe you need to sit in the shade for a while.
–Sandy Point State Park, Maryland
Guy #1: Hey, what if you had a donkey? Haha.
Guy #2: Yeah, if I had a donkey. Haha. If I had a donkey and you had a rooster, haha.
Guy #1: Exactly.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Tween #1: So, like, what did you eat in Africa?
Tween #2: Like rice and stuff.
Tween #1: Like white rice or brown rice?
Tween #2: White rice.
Tween #1: Like, ew. You can get so fat from that! Oh my God, is that why those Africans in those picture you have, have huge bellies?
Tween #2: You are beyond retarded!
–Second Beach, Newport, Rhode Island
Honeymooning hubby: Honey, do you want a drink?
Absentminded wifey, reading: Sure.
Honeymooning hubby: Do you want a sandwich?
Absentminded wifey: Whatever.
Honeymooning hubby, exasperated: Will you give me a massage?
Absentminded wifey: Whatever.
Attractive blonde stranger: I’ll give you a massage, hottie.
Absentminded wifey, looking up from her book: Back off, he’s mine [she goes back to her book].
Honeymooning hubby, whispering to blonde: So… Can I meet you later, then?
–Hilton Head, South Carolina
Overheard by: eager ears
Frivolous tourist: What’s that?
Earnest tourist: That’s an aircraft carrier. San Diego is a big Navy port.
Frivolous tourist: Well, I think it just clutters up the look of the harbor.
–San Diego, California
Overheard by: Teresa Minnich
Woman to six-year-old son and friends: Wait, so do you pronounce it “Jäger” or “gay-ger”?
–Del Mar, California
Dude #1: I’d really like to do a girl and her mom at the same time.
Dude #2: I don’t think you’re gonna have any luck here. All these chicks look like they’re between 18 and 25.
Dude #1: So, what’s your point?
–Cancun, Mexico
Overheard by: Beach Frog
Blonde: What is autism?
Brunette: Are you serious?
Blonde: Isn't that when you write upside-down?
–Tampa, Florida
Father to daughter, while mother brushes hair: Doesn't that hurt?
Daughter: Nope, I have a strong scallop.
Father: What does that mean? Your head is not made of vegetables!
Mother: What? Vegetables? That's “scallions,” you idiot! And your head is not a scallop, it's a scalp… you're both idiots! (laughs hysterically)
–Robert Moses, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Sugardoll
Girl: So, out of all the people in this circle, who have you been sexually involved with?
Queer: Does pecking count?
Girl: Yes.
Queer points at everyone.
Girl 1: You man-whore! So, if pecking doesn’t count, who have you done anything with?
Queer: Everyone except her.
Girl: So you’re still a whore.
–Centennial Beach, British Columbia, Canadia
Overheard by: shutterbug
