Central America

Woman: Where are you from?
Twelve‐year‐old boy: Minnesota.
Woman: Oh, yeah, you have really good cheese there.
Boy: Ummmm…
Woman: Oh, wait. No. That’s Wisconsin. They have really good cheese.
Boy: Yeah. They do. But I’m from Minnesota.

–Virginia Beach

Dude in hot tub: Wait, we didn’t do it? So we aren’t in trouble?!

–Carnival Ecstasy cruise

Dude: Hey, where do you girls go for fun? [They ignore him.] You’re just gonna ignore me? Not a ‘Fuck you’? Nothing? Bitch!
Chick: You kiss your dick with that mouth?

–Montego Bay, Jamaica

(a convertible full of half‐naked frat boys is stopped at a light)
Frat boys in unison: Marijuanamarijuanamarijuana!

–Panama City, Panama

Guy holding up little wooden container: We could get this for Bill.
Girl: Oh! For his pot!
Guy, looking over girl’s shoulder at elderly woman behind her: … Or stuff. 

–Labadee, Haiti

Kid #1: They put pears in my room. Did they put pears in your room?
Kid #2: Yeah, but they were horrible. They tasted like chocolate.
Kid #3: Do you mean they tasted like chalk?
Kid #2: Yeah.
Kid #1: Wait, how do you know what chalk tastes like?

–British Virgin Islands

Overheard by: A chocolate pear would be nice

French backpacker waiting for bus, in heavy French accent: Please, someone take a picture of this obnoxiousnezz!

–Puerto Viejo, Costa Rica

Overheard by: RaindanceRichard