Blonde: Hey, can you look at my butt? Do I have blood on my butt?
Guy: Uh, what?
Blonde: I have my period — I just want to make sure I don’t have blood on my butt.
Guy: What? Ew.
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: Sarah
Blonde: Hey, can you look at my butt? Do I have blood on my butt?
Guy: Uh, what?
Blonde: I have my period — I just want to make sure I don’t have blood on my butt.
Guy: What? Ew.
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: Sarah
Teen girl #1: Remember when Paul and Diane had sex at the beach last year?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, that shit’s so gross. Have you seen this water?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, there’s so much nasty shit in here.
Teen girl #2: That’s why I’ll only have sex at Jones — it’s much cleaner.
Teen girl #1: Def.
–Rockaway, New York
Overheard by: A. D.
Bimbette looking up at cliff face: Hey, do rocks eat other rocks?
Guy: … Huh?
Bimbette: Do rocks eat other rocks? You know, so that they can grow into bigger rocks…
Guy: Are you serious? No, rocks do not eat other rocks.
Bimbette: Then, like… How do they get bigger?
Guy: [Silence.]Bimbette: Like, what do they eat?
–Merewether Beach, Newcastle, Australia
Bimbette to friend: Hmmm, it smells like the beach…
–Surf & Stillwell Avenue, Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Janelle
Chick #1: So, what happened to you last night?
Chick #2: Um, I died.
–The Coffeehouse, Manteo, North Carolina
Woman: I’m starving! Let’s go get something at Burger King.
Friend: So am I. Hey, did you know that Burger King sells veggie burgers? I just found that out the other day.
Woman: Really? Veggie burgers? What do they use? Like, turkey?
–Panama City Beach, Florida
Ghetto chick #1: Yo, girl, I can smell you from here.
Ghetto chick #2: Girl, what you talkin’ ’bout? You better be talkin’ ’bout my lotion.
Ghetto chick #1: No, girl! I’m talkin’ ’bout your pussy.
Ghetto chick #2: You crazy, girl. Tony ate it out last night. Ain’t nothin’ in there to smell!
Ghetto chick #1: Maybe it’s just the nigga’s breath, then.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: karen g.
Dude #1: I bet I can make Jill* show us her cooter right here on the beach.
Dude #2: No way.
Dude #1: Twenty bucks says I can.
Dude #2: You’re on.
Dude #1: Hey, Jill, I hear you have a tattoo above your vagina that says ‘Come on in.’
Jill: What?! What kind of skank do you think I am?
Dude #1: Well, I don’t. That’s what I heard.
Jill: Okay, I’ll show you when we get back to the room.
Dude #1: You’ll forget. Do it now. No one’s watching. [Jill lowers her bikini bottom.] I’m going to tell that person to stop telling lies about you.
–Destin, Florida
Bimbette: My nipples are hard.
–Wasaga Beach, Ontario, Canadia
