Girl to boy: Look at the sea otters! So romantic! …touch my breasts.

–Tacoma, Washington

Rich lady with yappy dog: Well, ‘Caucasian’ has ‘Asian’ in it. Then again, there’s a ‘turd’ in every ‘Saturday.’

–Golden Gardens Park, Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Disturbed

Bitchy friend: … So then we took a vote, and you’re the biggest slut out of all of us.
Girl: But I’m the only virgin.
Bitchy friend: We know.

–Kingston Beach, Washington