Little girl: Mommy, is this Lake Michigan?
Mom: Yes, honey.
Little girl: Then why doesn’t it look like this in Chicago?
–Petoskey, Michigan
Archive for the ‘Michigan’ Category
Just Look at New Orleans
Mom: Don’t hurt that butterfly!
Son: Why?
Mom: Because if you’re mean to nature, nature will be mean to you.
Son: Oh.
–Markin Glen County Park, Kalamazoo, Michigan
Overheard by: julie
…And We’re Coming from a Paula Abdul Tribute Concert.
Girl wearing bikini to group of girls wearing chunky sneakers, shorts with suspenders and bedazzled tank tops: Why are you guys wearing that?
Girl in group, nonchalantly: Cuz’ we lookin’ swagalicious.
–St. Joseph, Michigan
I Hate People Who Have Better Tans Than I Do
Bimbette to boyfriend: So yeah, I like, went to Cabo over spring break, and there were like Mexicans everywhere! Yeah, it was horrible.
–Michigan
What Would Your Social Life Be Without It?
Girl, noticing bird poop on leg: Oh, shit! Why do I always get pooped on?!
–Oval Beach, Michigan
Overheard by: Steph
Okay, Maybe It was Every Day, in Our Great Big Rubber Bed
White chick with dreads: Yeah, I used to pee on my best friend all the time… Well, I guess it was really just one time, but we peed on each other. I was sitting on her lap and I was laughing really hard, and I was like, ‘Oh I have to pee,’ but then I thought it’d be even funnier, so I just let it go. Later she tackled me in the water and peed on me. It was kinda nice — like, really warm.
–Pickerel Lake, Michigan
Overheard by: Maude Lynne
She Ain’t a Lady Either
Woman on phone: It’s been so long since I have gone out on a date, I think I’ve forgotten what it feels like to be a woman.
4‑Year-Old son, indignantly: You ain’t a woman! You’re my mother!
–Howell, Michigan
Overheard by: Catherine
And You Know How Gullible Small Children Are
20-something man: Those seagulls sound like your orgasm!
Girlfriend, gesturing at teenagers: Shh! There are little girls over there!
–Michigan
Doctors Surgically Removed Her Husband
Woman: It wasn’t a boob reduction. It was a boob elimination. You know, a man-sectomy.
–Warren Dunes, Lake Michigan
Overheard by: Andrea
I Went Through a Year of That after My Balls Went on Prozac
Girl: Oh my god, the water is so cold! I think my vagina is numb.
Guy: I hate when that happens.
–Grand Haven, Michigan
Overheard by: Lisa
