Wet teen boy #1, rubbing eyes: My eyes hurt.
Wet teen boy #2: From the salt?
Wet teen boy #1: Nah. I’ve been outside for two days. They’re used to video game light only.

–Bradley Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: long time mom

Young boy: Don't fire the rocket launcher until I can go and get it! I'm already down to my third layer of skin, cuz the rest of it burned off!

–Newport Beach, California

Overheard by: Narwhal

Salty sea dog: And the new LED Christmas lights? They’ll never burn down your Christmas tree. You’ll have to do that yourself.

–Morro Bay, California

Overheard by: Colin

Wrestler #1: The other day I went in the water, and I forgot my cell phone was in my pocket. It doesn’t work anymore.
Wrestler #2: Was it on?
Wrestler #1: Yes.
Wrestler #2: Well, you should have turned it off before you went in!

–The Black Sea

Girl (yelling from balcony): You brought a printer on vacation with you?
Dad: Yes.
Girl: (walks away annoyed)

–Long Beach Island, New York

Overheard by: Jayne

Bikini girl to friend: Yeah, I'd suck a dick for an iPod touch.

–Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Girl #1: Yeah, and then I threw a book and it hit her in the throat. I was like, “hi-ya!”
Girl #2: Oh, why didn't you text me afterwards?
Girl #1: I was busy because then I threw one at her stomach. “Hi-ya!” Times four!

–Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Teen boy, to anorexic teen girl #1: Why do you keep your phone in your thong?
Anorexic teen girl #2: Well, where else is she going to put it? She has no boobs.

–Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Sam

Dumb girl talking to small group of friends: Only famous people use Twitter.

–Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: Janelle

Mechanic, returning car: I got a wireless cable.

–Wildwood Crest, New Jersey