Shirtless meathead #1: This is awesome. We should start a shirts-off club.
Shirtless meathead #2: Yeah. We could call it ‘Shirtless in Seattle.‘
Shirtless meathead #3: But we don’t live in Seattle.
–Dewey Beach, Delaware
Archive for the ‘Delaware’ Category
I Miss Her
Father pointing to ocean: Hey, John, look at the dolphins! [Seven-year-old boy looks around, not seeing them.] You’re missing them! You’re missing them like you miss everything! You’re just like your mother!
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Got to remember that for when I am a parent
Maybe Try the Saran Wrap Off a Sub
Drunk guy in line on cell: I don’t see any rubbers here, so are you okay with “pull & pray?” (pause) You know I’m not gonna pull out, right?
–Dewey Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: I really hope they don’t procreate…
You Could Have Had a Friend in Pennsylvania, But Nooo…
Tourist guy: I hate these tourists! They think they’re so cool, just coming down for the weekend in their little homes, fucking up the traffic and making parking difficult. Go home!
Local teen: Your license plate says you’re from Pennsylvania.
Tourist guy: I rent for the summer. I guess I’m kinda like you, in a sense.
Local teen: Bitch, please.
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: beach native
I Thought It Was That Everyone’s White and Hairy
Girl: Hm. Which way should we sit? Where’s the sun?
Guy: Yeah. See, that’s what’s wrong with East Coast beaches. The sun ends up, like, behind you.
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: kev
Just Wait ’til Prom, Buddy
Teen boy, looking at boogie board: Oh, man… My nipples are gonna get it.
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Kate H
No, There Has to Be at Least an Hour of Hijinks and Double Entendre First!
Foreign girl: Hello. I just bought this bike. I need a special instrument to raise the seat. Can you help me?
Guy #1: We might. Do you need a wrench?
Foreign girl: Oh. I don’t know…[giggles]Guy #2: Where are you from?
Foreign girl: Belarus.
Guy #1: Why did you decide to come to the US?
Foreign girl, excitedly: I came for work and pleasure! I work at Subway!
Guy #2: This is so stereotypical teen movie.
Foreign girl: Does that mean you can fix my bike?
Guy #1: Do you wanna come inside and get drunk with us?
–5 Kings Row, Dewey Beach, Delaware
Pfff! I Saw That Show — It’s All ‘You Know What the Difference Between Aquatic and Land Mammals Is?’
Tourist lady: Do you know when the dolphin show is?
Lifeguard: Uh, yeah, I think the truck just came with all the dolphins in it… should be in about half an hour.
Tourist lady: Oh, great! Thank you.
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Laughing Local
The Important Thing Is That They’re Discussing It
Dude #1: … And the Hamburglar would go to law school.
Dude #2: No, he’d be a photographer.
Dude #1, after long pause: Yeah, you’re right.
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Mayor McCheese
It’s Not the Content But the Style That Suggests This Kid Has a Future in Musical Theater
Small boy, carrying bag: Fudge! The wonderful joy of fudge!
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
