Awww, Gay

Girl, handing beach towel to gay guy: Here. This one's for you cuz it's got fruit on it.
Gay guy: Oh, I'm sorry. Where's the one with a bitch on it for you?

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: aoK

Mother: We're all set for the picnic!
Random gay dude: Oh, really? Yum! What'd you get us?
Mother: Uh, roast pork sandwiches.
Random gay dude: Ooooh, sounds good! (wanders off)
Mother (whispers): You have to be careful what you say around here.

–East Hampton, New York

Overheard by: pop pop

Queer #1, holding apple core: Is this biodegradable?
Queer #2, driving: Yes!
Queer #1: Okay! (tosses it out the window)

–Sandy Hook, New Jersey

Guy #1: I can’t believe you did that! How could you? After all this time! I thought I knew you!
Guy #2, very loudly: It’s my butt and it’s gonna be fucked if I want it to!

–Enseada Beach, Brazil

Overheard by: Natasha

Guy #1: I can’t believe you did that! How could you? After all this time! I thought I knew you!
Guy #2, very loudly: It’s my butt and it’s gonna be fucked if I want it to!

–Enseada Beach, Brazil

Overheard by: Natasha

Gay guy #1: Tom has such a huge dick! I swear I was walking bow-legged for three days! I think it might become a serious thing!
Gay guy #2: I know! He has such a huge dick!

–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware

(coming out of a store)
Gay guy #1: Which way are we going?
Gay guy #2: Straight.
Gay guy #1: (giggles)

–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware

White trash girl to friend: Whatever, I'm on my period, so I'm not even worried about it.
Gay male friend: You can still get pregnant on your period, I think.
(awkward silence)
White trash girl, laughing: You are such a fucking retard.

–Wildwood, New Jersey

Overheard by: Ryan L

Blond woman, wrapping towel around her waist: I feel like my thighs are too fat to be at the beach.
Gay friend: Well, shit, now they look like they're in a sausage casing. Downgrade.

–Palmetto, Boca Raton, Florida

Queer: Josh! If you don’t put your ass away right now, I’m gonna fuck it!

–Fire Island Pines, Brookhaven, New York

Overheard by: Your Buddy in Blue