Arts

Female snowbird: Conch fritters? What’s conch?
Male snowbird: Didn’t you read Lord of the Flies? You need the conch shell to talk.
Female snowbird: You want me to eat a ceremonial shell?

–Frenchy’s, Clearwater Beach, Florida

Overheard by: sarah d.

Skater punk to another: Dude, seriously, fuck Picasso.

–Venice Beach, California

Nerd, to blind date: And the best part about this guy is that he’s half man, half rat, and he’s living in a WOOD ELF society!

–Steak ‘n Shake, Palm Beach, Florida

Chick, passing another reading Brave New World: That girl was reading a book about Columbus, I think.

–East Matunuck State Beach, Rhode Island

Overheard by: it's got a Savage, but no Columbus

20-Something girl #1: Yeah, I fell asleep. It was a stupid movie! And that guy with the squid on his face, who was he, Medusa?
20-Something girl #2: You mean Davy Jones?
20-Something girl #1: Yeah. And I was like, what about The Monkees?
20-Something girl #2: There weren’t any monkeys.
20-Something girl #1: You’re too young to remember the Sixties. Davy Jones was in the Monkees.
20-Something girl #2: Um, Davy Jones the pirate came first. Haven’t you ever heard of Davy Jones’s locker?
20-Something girl #1: I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.

–Craigville Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts