B&B owner to guests: Do you two have children?
Female guest: Oh no, not yet. That’s why we are here!
B&B owner (blushing) walking away: Oh! Well, I’m glad we could help!
Guest (softly, mortified): I meant we have more time without kids!
–Bed & Breakfast, Galveston Island, Texas
Drunk guy: Dude, which way is the beach?!
Sober friend: We’re on an island! You figure it out!
–South Padre Island, Texas
Girl: Ooh, it's so pretty here…like on Lost!
Guy (stepping around litter): Yeah, complete with used diapers.
–South Padre Island, Texas
Overheard by: The Other
10-year-old boy to younger brother: All mother nature gave you is a bag of shit.
–North Padre, Texas
