College girl: Stop hitting on the nine-year-old, and let’s leave!
–Grand Bend, Ontario, Canadia
Archive for the ‘Students’ Category
Hope You’re Studying up for Thursday’s Dung-Flinging Quiz
Professor to group of girls covered in whitish goo: What happened to you?
Girl #1: Egg sac war.
Girl #2 and Girl #3: Yeah.
Professor: … Ugh.
Guy: I love this class.
–Fort DeSoto Beach, Florida
Overheard by: There’s nothing like lab in the field
You’ve Seen the Snoopy Cartoons Where He Dresses As the Red Baron, No?
College student #1: Why are they letting their dog in the water with a leash?
College student #2: So it doesn’t fly away!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Ignorance Makes Me Harder than Chinese Algebra
Freshman bikini girl #1: College classes are much more lame than I thought they would be.
Freshman bikini girl #2: Yeah. I mean, who cares about, like, the difference between Chinese and Japanese?
Freshman bikini girl #1: Yeah! Or algebra! Like anyone even cares!
Freshman bikini girl #2: Do you have more baby oil?
–Cocoa Beach, Florida
Overheard by: a professor who specializes in Asian cultures
We’ll Just Follow Him Up the Food Chain to the Bigger Fish That Are His Suppliers
Professor: Are you guys working or just following a stingray?
Student #1: Working!
Student #2: Um…
Student #3: Both.
Professor: Both?
Student #3: We’re using the stingray to randomly decide where to take our next sample. They eat invertebrates — it’s like a divining rod!
–Fergie Shoals, Florida
Overheard by: Justification is for the geeky
At 40, after Three Failed In-Vitros, Kassidy Was to Remember This Conversation
Little girl: Are you a mom? You look like a mom.
College student: No. How old do you think I am?
Little girl: Fifteen?
–Palm City, Florida
Overheard by: MBD
There Is No “They,” There’s Just Us; Let’s Get Fucked Up
Student to friend: I think they should illegalize tobacco, and legalize pot.
–University Campus, Honolulu, Hawaii
But Since It’s Me, I Know I’m Just Lazy
University of Miami girl: If I wasn’t me, I’d think I was stupid.
–Miami Beach, Florida
Making Me the Perfect Complement to Any Outfit
College kid: But I was conceived in Florida, so that means I’m neutral!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Or Would You Rather Shoot Up and Play Candyland?
Teen to group of college students: Hey… What are you guys up to?
College student: Playing hide-and-seek.
Teen: Well, I was looking to get high, but that works too…
–Encinitas, California
Overheard by: Actually was playing hide and seek
