Banana vendor: Bananas… Bananas… Two for a dollar! Bananas…
Topless girl in string bikini bottom: But I just need one…
Banana vendor: Why don’t you eat the other one?
–South Korea
Archive for the ‘Asia’ Category
That’s What in English We Call ‘What a Penis Looks Like in Japan’
Boss: What do you call this finger in English?
Employee: The ring finger.
Boss: Ok, how about this one?
Employee: Uh, hold it right there [takes a picture] That’s the middle finger.
Boss: I see. How about the little one?
Translated from the Japanese
–Beach BBQ in Toyama, Japan
A Cell Phone Is Like a Woman: If It’s Not Turned On, It Stays Dry
Wrestler #1: The other day I went in the water, and I forgot my cell phone was in my pocket. It doesn’t work anymore.
Wrestler #2: Was it on?
Wrestler #1: Yes.
Wrestler #2: Well, you should have turned it off before you went in!
–The Black Sea
That’s Just Nature’s Way of Telling You They’re Done
Teenage girl #1: Are my nip nips showing?
Teenage girl #2: Your what whats?
Teenage girl #1: (points) My nips. It’s blinking cold, you know.
Teenage girl #2: Er… Ohh, that. Nope, can’t see a thing.
Teenage girl #1: You better check from time to time, okay? Like seriously. I don’t care, I need to poke them back in.
Teenage girl #2: But even if you poke it back in, it just pops back out like nobody’s bussiness! What do you do then, keep poking?
–Sunway Lagoon, Malaysia
Overheard by: babybhang
Dear Folks, Won Another Argument. Best Vacation Ever!
Worldly hippie: So, my goal right now is pretty much to take the time to watch the sunset every day, because, you know, there aren’t that many.
Vacationing New Yorker: What is there more of than sunsets?
–Goa, India
Overheard by: Iman
All the Good Indentured Servitude Positions Have Been Outsourced to India
American girl #1: You know what I want to get while I’m here in India? A Sherpa. That would be so cool.
American girl #2: What’s a Sherpa?
American girl #1: It’s, like, a people endemic to the Himalayas. You can buy one, and they carry your stuff for you.
American girl #2: Oooh, that sounds nice!
–Goa, India
Overheard by: Wish I were Canadian
And Prince
Aunt, looking up at the stars: What is that?
Nephew: Is this the southern or northern hemisphere?
Aunt (giggling): I have no idea.
Cousin, without looking up : That’s Orion. You can see Meissa, the star at the top, that’s its head. The really bright one is Rigel, that’s supposed to be the knee. If you follow the constellation downwards you’ll see Sirius.
(blank dumbfounded looks)
Cousin: That’s, um, where the aliens from V come from.
Aunt, completely understanding : Ohhhh!
–Beaches of Koh Sumet, Thailand
And You Took a Dump in Their Ceremonial Urn
American: Why did she stare at me like that? Is my accent that horrible? Did I say something wrong?
Japanese-American: Your accent isn’t that bad. But you made the Japanese “fuck you” gesture with your hands.
–Beach near Tokyo
