And Resigning From Your Fan Club

50-something woman: I want the tiramisu for my birthday cake!
Husband: Well, the restaurant says they only have individual portions, not a big thing. That would be expensive for eleven people.
50-something woman: Well, I don't want the key lime pie, that's fifth on a list of five options.
20-something woman #1: Well, why don't we get a pie for everyone else, and a tiramisu for you?
50-something woman: I want everyone to eat what I'm eating in commemoration of my birthday!
20-something woman #2: Oh my god. I'm leaving.

–Holden Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: Audrey

Posted on February 14, 2023
Compare and contrast, Couples, Food, Money, North Carolina, Questions, Stupidity, Wishes, Women

Maybe They'll Shame Me Out Of My Little Hissy Fit

Guy on cell: Dude, you gotta come down here…I'm about to jump in the ocean and scream at the universe and I want you to help me! (pause) Okay, yeah, send the brown people down.

–Miami Beach, Florida

Posted on February 2, 2023
Florida, Guys, On the phone, Race, Violence, Wishes

I Am Parko, Almighty Parking Deity. Give Me Your Worldly Goods or Roam the Melting Streets Forever!

Parking lot attendant: Thirty dollars.
Woman: Last time I was here, you charged me five dollars.
Parking lot attendant: I should be charging you the same amount as it is degrees outside. I should be charging you like ninety three dollars.

–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire

Overheard by: arc, mich