New Jersey

Teenage girl: So I’ve decided not to be a slut anymore.

–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey

Hick tourist, pointing to the ocean: So is that there salt water?
Island Beach State Park worker, after long confused pause: It's the ocean.
Hick tourist: Yeah, but does it like, have salt in it?

–Island Beach State Park, New Jersey

Overheard by: sick of bennies

Cheesy 15-year-old boy: I can’t believe you were about to go up to him and say that. Ha, ha, ha.
Cheesy 15-year-old girl: Wouldn’t be the first time I made someone cry.
Cheesy 15-year-old boy: You’re a whore.

–Ocean City, New Jersey

Brunette: I’ve always wanted a tattoo, but I don’t think I’m going to get one. You can’t get buried in a Jewish cemetery if you have a tattoo.
Blonde: Why would you want to get married in a Jewish cemetery?
Brunette: Not married. Buried.
Blonde: Oh… So, are you Jewish?
Brunette: Yes.
Blonde: What is it with Jews always wanting to marry other Jews?
Brunette: I guess part of it is that the Jews have been persecuted so much, so people want to make sure to perpetuate the race.
Blonde: Really? Like who? Who persecuted the Jews?
Brunette: Um… well… the Nazis.

–Sandy Hook, New Jersey

Seven-year-old, loudly: What do you mean nana doesn't vote Democrat?!

–Cape May, New Jersey

Overheard by: The RJP

Teen tourist girl #1: Why are all the Jersey boys guidos?
Teen tourist girl #2: I don’t know. I guess there’s a lot of Italians around here.
Teen tourist girl #1: Maybe the water in the ocean is from Italy.

–Seaside Heights, New Jersey

Overheard by: Glad I’m old..