Drunk girl to drunker boyfriend: It's better to throw up than give up!
Hobo: Respect the pussy!

–Atlantic City, New Jersey

Overheard by: AlwaysGoodAdvice

Chick: Do you guys live here?
Guy #1: Yep, right over there.
Chick: And what about you?
Guy #2: No, I don’t live here.
Chick: Where do you live?
Guy #2: Everywhere. I’m a hobo.
Chick: No, you’re not.
Guy #2: Yes, I’m a hobo. I sleep on the beach, and I eat out of trash cans. I’m a hobo.
Chick: I want to be a hobo.

–San Diego, California

Overheard by: Supercharger

Hobo: Come on, people! How about this? Put a penny in my bucket and I'll go back to Venice and leave you all the fuck alone!

–Santa Monica, California

Overheard by: Zoe

Hobo in wheelchair to boys skating: Bend over!
Boy: If you were tall enough…

–Santa Monica, California

Hobo, singing among crowd of people: Jingle bells, jingle bells, help me get drunk!

–Venice Beach, Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Just a Midwestern girl who's new in LA

Teen girl reading rope candy wrapper at snack bar: 24 inches of flavor and fun!
Random middle aged hobo: Sounds like a midget I used to date!

–San Clemente, California

Homeless guy to guy with extremely long hair: Oh my god! Is that hair real?
Guy with extremely long hair: Yes.
Homeless guy: Oh my god! I'm a midget!

–Santa Cruz, California

Hobo to lifeguard: Yeah, I pooped here. Twice, actually. Once right there, and once right there.

–Pacifica, California