Hobo in wheelchair to boys skating: Bend over!
Boy: If you were tall enough…

–Santa Monica, California

Hobo, singing among crowd of people: Jingle bells, jingle bells, help me get drunk!

–Venice Beach, Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Just a Midwestern girl who’s new in LA

Teen girl reading rope candy wrapper at snack bar: 24 inches of flavor and fun!
Random middle aged hobo: Sounds like a midget I used to date!

–San Clemente, California

Homeless guy to guy with extremely long hair: Oh my god! Is that hair real?
Guy with extremely long hair: Yes.
Homeless guy: Oh my god! I’m a midget!

–Santa Cruz, California

Hobo to lifeguard: Yeah, I pooped here. Twice, actually. Once right there, and once right there.

–Pacifica, California

Bag lady: Weren’t you gonna wash yo’ hair?
Hobo: That was las’ week!
Bag lady: Well, didja?
Hobo: No.

–Miami, Florida

Overheard by: larry

Hobo: Happy holidays! Skate or die!

–Pacific Beach Boardwalk, San Diego, California

Overheard by: OB Dave

Hobo: Are you my girlfriend?
Girl walking by: No.
Hobo: I’mma piss on your shoe! I’mma piss on your shoe!

–Santa Monica, California