Drunk girl pointing at pelican: Holy shit — a fuckin’ Pterodactyl!

–Cancun, Mexico

Tourist: How do they get the sand so white? Do they bleach it or something?
Local: We wash it every day.

–Tulum, Mexico

Overheard by: Tulumbum

Man to friend: So, I went on my knees. And then I went on my belly. And then I went on my knees again…it was hard!

–Mayan Riviera, Mexico

Overheard by: anna levi

Drunk girl #1: Oh my god! Look at that guy's balls!
Drunk girl #2: Where?!
Drunk girl #1: Around his neck!
Drunk girl #2: Wow! They're huge!

–Rocky Point, Mexico

Frat boy: So, you guys are going back to the room? I think I’m gonna stay here a little — have another beer, then go take a shower. Beer and a shower. That’s how I roll.

–Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

Overheard by: That’s Not How I Roll

Elderly husband to leather-tanned wife taking top off on the beach: Jesus Christ, Mary! Put those things away,will you? Nobody wants to see that.

–Playa Del Carmen, Mexico

Mom: I don’t think we can stay at this hotel the whole time.
Daughter: Why? What’s wrong? It’s not that bad…
Mom: No, there’s just so many Mexicans at the pool.
Daughter: We’re in Mexico, mother!

–Puerto Vallarta, Mexico

Angry Texan guy being turned away at door: Pants? Pants? Who brings pants to Mexico?

–Formal restaurant, Cancun, Mexico

Overheard by: sheila