Girls

Moral Of the Story: Next Time Get Too Wasted to Start Your Car

Blonde girl #1: I got a fucking DUI last night, can you believe that shit?
Blonde girl #2: Well, you *were* pretty drunk last night…
Blonde girl #1: So? Everyone else was, too!
Blonde girl #2: Yeah, but they weren't driving around everywhere.

–Isla Vista beach, Santa Barbara, California

Overheard by: just trying to study

Posted on August 22, 2022
California, Drinking, Girls, Insults

It's Already Mastered "Sit."

Girl, carrying piece of kelp to dad: This can be my pet until we get a doggie!

–Hermosa Beach, California

Posted on August 22, 2022
Animals, California, Girls, Nature, Weirdness, Wishes

…What Do You Look for in a Pastor?

Tall blonde: That's fantastic, he seems really great!
Short brunette: You know what I love most about him? He gets me… I mean he really appreciates my sluttiness!

–World Pie, Bridgehampton, New York

Posted on August 21, 2022
Compliments, Girls, New York, Relationships, Sex

…Though I Guess the Cow Also Works.

Girl, handing beach towel to gay guy: Here. This one's for you cuz it's got fruit on it.
Gay guy: Oh, I'm sorry. Where's the one with a bitch on it for you?

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: aoK

Posted on August 20, 2022
Awww, Gay, Comebacks, Food, Girls, Insults, Maryland

Tonight's Movie: Bend It Like Jesus

Girl with two plastic goals on either end, walking by a beachside pool: Hey! It's water soccer!

–Dubrovnik, Croatia

Posted on February 5, 2019
Europe, Girls, Sports, Stupidity, Weirdness