Canadia

Skinny drunk girl with dense philosophy textbook: I like peeing when necessary, I like peeing when unnecessary. Whenever, wherever. As long as I get arrested for it, that's all I ask. Is that too much to ask?

–Jericho Beach, Vancouver, Canadia

Overheard by: Jericho

Stoner girl to another: Man, I just sent her a text saying that we're there, because I figure by the time we get there we'll be there.

–Qualicum Beach, Vancouver Island, Canadia

Little girl: Daddy! Guess what I am supposed to be!
Dad: You are a crab.
Little girl: Right! Okay, Daddy, now it’s your turn.

Dad sits there, talking to his wife.

Little girl: Daddy! You are supposed to be something!
Dad: I am. I am being a cool guy.

–Horseshoe Bay Ferry Terminal, Vancouver, Canadia

Small boy to friend while riding their bikes: So, are you on your second pair of underwear yet?

–Pinery Provincial Park, Grand Bend, Ontario, Canadia

Overheard by: debbie

Chubby twink: The ’80s called, they want their lipstick back.
Chick in black with bright red lipstick: Your boyfriend called, he thinks you’re fat.

Chubby twink runs off crying, chick in black lights a smoke.

–Witty’s Lagoon, British Columbia, Canadia

Overheard by: sleepless

Clothed guy: Hey, got any change?
Nude guy, waving his hands in the air: I got no pockets!

–Wreck Beach, British Columbia, Canadia