Girl on cell: Yeah, so my dad said he wouldn’t pay for college, but he would pay for my wedding, and I’d rather have a big party than study stupid shit for four years, so I’ll just do that…
–Marathon, Florida
Overheard by: Nicole
Girl on cell: Yeah, so my dad said he wouldn’t pay for college, but he would pay for my wedding, and I’d rather have a big party than study stupid shit for four years, so I’ll just do that…
–Marathon, Florida
Overheard by: Nicole
Tan chick on towel: So, I was like, ‘And what about the donkeys? Like, do they enjoy sex like we do?’
Pale fat chick next to her: I would guess so. I mean, I had a friend who sucked one off one time, so why not?
–Clearwater Beach, Florida
Overheard by: …what?
Girl #1, whispering: Oh my god, I’m choking on this macaroni.
Girl 2: Then how are you talking?
Girl 1: The macaroni is stuck in my throat straight up, and I’m breathing through the hole in the noodle.
Girl 2: Ohhh, that makes sense.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: jenny
Biotech #1: Wow. Did you see his new girlfriend over there?
Biotech #2: Yeah. She’s got cottage cheese legs.
Bimbette: Really? Where is she? Is she fat?
Biotech #2: It’s not that she’s fat, it’s just that… well… she’s built like a linebacker.
Bimbette, looking in opposite direction: Hey, look — volleyball!
–Hamburg Beach, Germany
Puerto Rican princess: Hey! Hey, you – Mr. Captain or whatever.
Steward: Yes, ma’am?
Puerto Rican princess: Does this elevator go to the front of the ship?
Steward: Excuse me?
Puerto Rican princess: Where is the elevator that goes to the front of the ship?
Random passenger: Someone throw her overboard now and put her out of my misery.
–Caribbean Cruise, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: also waiting for elevator
Girl waiting for busy elevator: I hate this elevator! It always takes so long. They should just make one go up and the other go down.
–Atlantic Beach, North Carolina
Overheard by: Smithra
Bimbette #1: I can’t believe you’re trying to learn Spanish just so you can hook up with that waiter.
Bimbette #2: [Mutters in Spanish.]Bimbette #1: What are you trying to say?
Bimbette #2: My eyes are brown.
Bimbette #1: You just said my eyes are a Muslim religion!
–Rocky Point, Mexico
Overheard by: oh my
Teen girl: Of course she will get naked, she is slutty… I will get naked too, next time, but you guys respect me, right? Oh look, there’s a nude dude… [Points at stranger.] Want to see if I can get him hard?
–Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Blonde: … So as soon as we got home from spring break I told my boyfriend that I had sex with Brad on the beach.
Friend: Oh my gosh! What did your boyfriend do?!
Blonde: He said, ‘I guess we’re not riding in Brad’s limo for prom.’
Friend: What’s wrong with Brad’s limo?!
–St. Augustine beach, Florida
Bimbo #1, happily: It's so thick!
Bimbo #2, wide-eyed: Did you slap it?
Bimbo #1: No, I poked it.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Emmy
