Local dude, trying to get me to buy a jet‐ski ride: You can drink and drive. It’s paradise!

–Paradise Island, The Bahamas

Overheard by: Drunken Swimmer

Bedraggled female peddler to another: Man, of all of the spots I’ve had here I’ve never seen so many lowlifes congregated around one place.

–Venice Beach, California

Overheard by: Gary & Nadja

Navy guy #1: Do you have beach shorts?
Gift shop employee: Yeah, over there.
Navy guy #2: This is a small. I think I need a medium.
Navy guy #1: Dude, no. Your dick is small.

–Pensacola Beach, Florida

Bedouin girl selling bracelets: Where you from?
Canadian tourist: You are so cute, I am from Canada!
Bedouin girl: Canada dry, never die, Canada dry, never die. You buy bracelet?

–Dahab, Egpyt