Lifeguard #1: So, what would you do if somebody came to you with a bat bite?
Lifeguard #2: Ummm… Clean up the wound, I guess.
Lifeguard #1: [Long pause] What would you do for someone with a clown bite?
–Echo Lake, Maine
Lifeguard #1: So, what would you do if somebody came to you with a bat bite?
Lifeguard #2: Ummm… Clean up the wound, I guess.
Lifeguard #1: [Long pause] What would you do for someone with a clown bite?
–Echo Lake, Maine
Girl: Oh my God! This water is really cold, can you turn the heater up?
Lifeguard, returning from locker room: There you go, it should be better now.
Girl: Hey, this really does feel warmer. Thanks, lifeguard!
–Caroga Lake, New York
Overheard by: Marc Wiley
Girl (pointing to sign on lifeguard tower): Hah! I thought that said “Dying is dangerous and prohibited” for a sec.
Guy: You're crazy. It says “diving!”
Girl: (pause) I know. But.. oh, whatever.
Lifeguard: Yes–we have a very strict policy… No dying!
–Corona Del Mar Beach, California
Overheard by: Dee
