College guy: Were you in the Airborne?
Guy in wheelchair wearing ‘Army Airborne’ hat and playing guitar for money: No, but the hat helps on holiday weekends.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Fat half-naked lady, walking up to a random lady and her kid: I'm about to burst!

–Cocoa Beach, Florida

Overheard by: would not like to be there when it happens

Chick getting tattoo on her foot: That hurts!
Guy tattoo-ing her: It wouldn’t hurt so much if you weren’t wearing tie-dye.

–Ocean Beach, San Diego, California