Guy #1: No, you're gonna strap a dildo to my bike seat!
Guy #2: Oh, yeah, sticking straight up.
Guy #1 imitating vibrating noise: Going do-do-do…
Guy #2: They do that?
Guy #1: Oh yeah!

–Daytona Beach, Florida

Overheard by: nyssa

red means stop. Green means go. And yellow means go real fast!

–Brighton Beach and Coney Island Ave

Boyfriend and girlfriend arguing at beach:
Short chunky girlfriend: "look at that blonde bitch over there with the big boobs. Those are the fakest things I've ever seen."
Boyfriend: "maybe you should hit the gym more."
Girlfriend: "fuck you!" (punches his arm, yelling).
Boyfriend: "well maybe you should. Or you could go on the cocaine diet?"
Girlfriend: "yeah so I can be a crackwhore?"
Boyfriend: "crackwhores are sexy."
Girlfriend: "what the fuck is wrong with you jackass?"
Boyfriend: "so what? I like fucking skinny bitches. Buy some blow already and stop eating."

–Malibu, CA

Dad to toddler son who is stretching out his arms: If you put an elbow in my face, I'm gonna eat it!

–Hotel, Orange Beach, Alabama

Cute but plump white girl: For food, I like white meat.

–Key West

woman helping small child pick out sunglasses."that's what sunglasses do, they keep the water out of your eyes"

–mackinac island michigan

Overheard by: jim

Blonde beach girl: I'm going t stop by Jake's house after this and ask him if I can wash my vagina out in his sink.

–Belmar, New Jersey

Teenage boy #1: Yo, dude, last night was mad chill… But you puked!
Teenage boy #2: Yeah…I drank so much I got drunk.

–Long Beach, NY

Overheard by: Katy

Ignorant yankee cunt: It's ok here, I mean the guys are alright but maybe a little too slow for me. But the beach is so clean and the water is too clear. You can see the fish and stuff.
Twin looking girlfriend: Yeah! I know what you mean.

–destin, fl

Overheard by: davo

Blonde soccer mom with kid to her friends: And then he licked my boobs. I was good that night.

–Half Moon Bay, California