Little girl, playing in pool at hotel: Nana, what beach are we at?
Older woman: Myrtle beach.
Little girl: Murder beach!
Rest of kids in pool: Murder beach! We're at murder beach!
Little boy: Hey, let's play murder beach. I'll kill you and rob your dead body!
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Marisa English
40-something woman, looking at towel in disgust: Bobby, how many times have I told you not to jerk off in the back seat?!
Annoyed teenage boy: Sorry, mom! Geez!
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Awkwardest Moment of My Life
Drunk big woman, gyrating in seat: Yeah, motherfuckers, it's tooty fruity booty! I got my drank on! Look at this tooty fruity booty! What the fuck they doin' in that water? Don'tcha know who the fuck I am? I'm tooty fruity booty!
–Ocho Rios, Jamaica
Overheard by: sunburntandsittingnexttothebooty
Four-year-old boy: I want to go on vacation!
Mom: We are on vacation.
Four-year-old boy: No! This is Hawaii, I want to go on vacation!
–Waikola, Hawaii
gay guy #1 – hey, do I look butch enough. Gay guy #2 – yeah. Gay guy #1 – ok, thanks gurl!
–Long Beach, CA
Woman with shocking perm to friend on morning power walk: You know there was just no way I was going to compromise the quality of my haircut.
–Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: Uncle Puli
Guy #1: No, you're gonna strap a dildo to my bike seat!
Guy #2: Oh, yeah, sticking straight up.
Guy #1 imitating vibrating noise: Going do-do-do…
Guy #2: They do that?
Guy #1: Oh yeah!
–Daytona Beach, Florida
Overheard by: nyssa
red means stop. Green means go. And yellow means go real fast!
–Brighton Beach and Coney Island Ave
Boyfriend and girlfriend arguing at beach:
Short chunky girlfriend: "look at that blonde bitch over there with the big boobs. Those are the fakest things I've ever seen."
Boyfriend: "maybe you should hit the gym more."
Girlfriend: "fuck you!" (punches his arm, yelling).
Boyfriend: "well maybe you should. Or you could go on the cocaine diet?"
Girlfriend: "yeah so I can be a crackwhore?"
Boyfriend: "crackwhores are sexy."
Girlfriend: "what the fuck is wrong with you jackass?"
Boyfriend: "so what? I like fucking skinny bitches. Buy some blow already and stop eating."
–Malibu, CA
Dad to toddler son who is stretching out his arms: If you put an elbow in my face, I'm gonna eat it!
–Hotel, Orange Beach, Alabama
