Uncategorized

a mom is comforting her son who hit his head.
Grandma: Don't worry, your grandfather used to get drunk and run into the wall. Then he would get angry and start punching it!

–A Beach in Utah

Drunk woman screaming into a smoke shop: There's a bunch of whores out here! Whooooooo!

–Long Beach, California

Overheard by: Nidonemo

4 year old boy running after and pointing at a seagull: "shark"

–Balmoral Beach, Australia

Overheard by: Esquire

Guy #1: So step one is where she's peeing and he comes in to pee and she spreads her legs far to open up a space into the toilet and he pees in that space. Guy #2 no, step one is where she's really drunk and he's really drunk and she's in the bathroom peeing and he barges in to pee too and she doesn't freak out.
Guy #1: Oh yeah, that makes more sense. There's a progression.
Guy #2: So then what you said first is step two and then step three is where they're both drunk and she's peeing and he walks in the bathroom and not only does she not freak out, but she allows him to dip his hand in her stream of urine.
Girl: What the fuck? Why would he do that?
Guy #1: That's just how he rolls. But you see the progression, right? And the whole point is that if she doesn't freak out, she's a keeper.

–Tybee Island, GA

Overheard by: Can't concentrate on my book

Guy #1: So step one is where she's peeing and he comes in to pee and she spreads her legs far to open up a space into the toilet and he pees in that space. Guy #2 no, step one is where she's really drunk and he's really drunk and she's in the bathroom peeing and he barges in to pee too and she doesn't freak out.
Guy #1: Oh yeah, that makes more sense. There's a progression.
Guy #2: So then what you said first is step two and then step three is where they're both drunk and she's peeing and he walks in the bathroom and not only does she not freak out, but she allows him to dip his hand in her stream of urine.
Girl: What the fuck? Why would he do that?
Guy #1: That's just how he rolls. But you see the progression, right? And the whole point is that if she doesn't freak out, she's a keeper.

–Tybee Island, GA

Overheard by: Can't concentrate on my book

Wobbly man on a cellphone: You tip too much! You tip too much! You need jesus!

–Long Beach, CA

Overheard by: Nidonemo

Clearly stoned: Oh my god the waves are so big you can barely see them!!

–Clearwater Beach, Fl

Overheard by: palmface

Man: Do you guys have anything to cut wood with?
Clearly drunk girl: Mah dick.

–Cabrillo Beach

"it's too late, ladies. The po-po already caught you!" bike cops on the beach busting 4 tourist girls on scooters driving thru a traffic jam.

–Miami Beach

Overheard by: pancho

Old leather-skinned Guy: Where ya been all summer?
Gay couple: Ummm, do we know you?
Old leather-skinned guy: Nah, I just say that to everyone as pale as you this late in the season.

–Gunnison Beach, Sandy Hook, New Jersey