Wishes

Preppy girl: So about this swine flu thing… like, who would want to have sex with a pig?

–Melbourne, Australia

Overheard by: Kermit

Little girl, getting to beach: Wow, look! Sea shells! I'm gonna find a real one today!
Mom and dad, disinterested: Mm-hmm…

–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina

Young boy, sitting in water and throwing wet sand around: I'm going to bury the beach in sand!

–Patricia Beach, Manitoba, Canadia

Overheard by: think I can say

Chubby man, kicking around the sand: Hey, have you guys seen a set of keys over here?
Asian girl: Um. No. Sorry.
Chubby man: Shit. I must have buried the car keys in the sand on accident. My wife’s gonna kill me.
Asian girl: I haven’t seen any keys, unfortunately.
Chubby man: Hey, do you think the beach has a Lost and Found box anywhere?

–Big Beach, Maui, Hawaii

Overheard by: Responsible Tourist

Chick #1: Hey, have you heard of those Rice Krispie treats? They’re awesome. They should so make a cereal out of those or something!
Chick #2: You dumbass, they are cereal!
Chick #1: Oh…

–Robert Moses Beach, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: i like rice krispies

Girl #1: We need shade. I don't want to get burned.
Girl #2: Wha'd she say?
Girl #3: She says she's gonna be a little bitch.

–Playa Mia, Mexico

Overheard by: Peeto

Long Island wife: Shawn! Shawn, you idiot, your son wants to come swimming with you!
Long Island husband: Did you just call me an idiot?
[A fight erupts and wife is so upset she starts packing.]Long Island husband: What are you doing? You said you wanted to go to the beach today!
Long Island wife: We’ve been to the beach, and the beach fucking sucks!

–West Palm Beach, Florida

Overheard by: sat near them on the plane going home two days later, too

Man with small child on his shoulders, rubbing his bald head: Rub harder! Make a wish!

–Bethany Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: Arlene M Franks

Drunk teen guy: If I had a vag, I'd totally stick drugs and shit up there!

–Lavalette, New Jersey

Overheard by: I have one, but I don't

Petite and topless blonde: When I get my boobs done, I'm gonna like… Walk around school with my tits out all the time.

–South Beach, Miami, Florida

Overheard by: mar