Overheard At The Beach

Archive for the ‘Wishes’ Category

And Resigning From Your Fan Club

50-something woman: I want the tiramisu for my birthday cake!
Husband: Well, the restaurant says they only have individual portions, not a big thing. That would be expensive for eleven people.
50-something woman: Well, I don’t want the key lime pie, that’s fifth on a list of five options.
20-something woman #1: Well, why don’t we get a pie for everyone else, and a tiramisu for you?
50-something woman: I want everyone to eat what I’m eating in commemoration of my birthday!
20-something woman #2: Oh my god. I’m leaving.

–Holden Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: Audrey

I Am Parko, Almighty Parking Deity. Give Me Your Worldly Goods or Roam the Melting Streets Forever!

Parking lot attendant: Thirty dollars.
Woman: Last time I was here, you charged me five dollars.
Parking lot attendant: I should be charging you the same amount as it is degrees outside. I should be charging you like ninety three dollars.

–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire

Overheard by: arc, mich

Plus, That Species Of Dragon Has a Much Shorter Wingspan

College girl to college guys carving dragon in the sand: Ugh! What is wrong with you?! Dragons do not have such muscular arms!
College guy: Ours does!
College girl: I am torn: do I continue arguing about tiny dragon arms as if dragons are real or move on to mocking you for giving your dragon the biceps you wish you had?

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Didn’t RoboCop Destroy the Place?

Old man: I think it’s too late to swim, the oil is washing up on the beach.
Old woman: Yeah, it’s too late for a lot of things now.
Old man: We should move back to Detroit. It’s less polluted.
Old woman: I don’t want to die in Detroit. Remember, we had this conversation already.

–Pier, St Petersburg, Florida

Overheard by: Sandy Paws