Little city boy chasing seagull on the beach: Come here, you flying chicken!
Mom: That is not a chicken, that is a pigeon or something!
Little boy: I said come here, come here, you chicken head!
–Seaside, Oregon
Archive for the ‘Weirdness’ Category
Fictional Fucking Is So Much Neater Than the Real Thing
Old woman #1: So did you get that dirty book I was talking about?
Old woman #2: No, I couldn’t find it. They don’t sell them at Barnes and Noble. I have to look on Amazon.
Old woman #1: The one I read is really graphic. This girl is this room, watching two people doing it.
Old woman #2: Yeah, I’m saving some of them to read on the plane ride.
–Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Overheard by: caySAYhey
I Am Parko, Almighty Parking Deity. Give Me Your Worldly Goods or Roam the Melting Streets Forever!
Parking lot attendant: Thirty dollars.
Woman: Last time I was here, you charged me five dollars.
Parking lot attendant: I should be charging you the same amount as it is degrees outside. I should be charging you like ninety three dollars.
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Overheard by: arc, mich
Your What?
Woman standing waist-deep in water: My labia has atrophied.
–Crescent Lake, Washington
Overheard by: The water really was that cold.
You Get to Be the Girl Tonight
Random guy in middle of large group of male friends: Ah, man! And my nipples just got like so hard right now.
Friend: Dude, man! They totally did! (chorus of laughter as they walk away)
–Fort Walton Beach, Florida
…Although We Still Won’t Be All There.
Stoner girl to another: Man, I just sent her a text saying that we’re there, because I figure by the time we get there we’ll be there.
–Qualicum Beach, Vancouver Island, Canadia
Both… Neither… Whatever Turns You on, Kid
Little boy: Was that lady a ‘he’ or a ‘she’?
–Hilo, Hawaii
Overheard by: Gwen
You Said I Could If I Was Good, Mom
Waspy overexcited college guy: And then after? Can we suck helium? Please!
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: kgw
Translation: the Ocean Scares Me
Young black male: Yo, I wish this was an urban beach. Like Chicago.
–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina
Without Having to Open Your Eyes
Drunk dude: I like mescaline for breakfast, because then all day you see all kinds of different shit.
–Pacific Beach, California
