Tourist: What do they do with the beach in the winter?
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Travis
Chick: I don’t know why you wanted to come to a nudist beach… It’s all old, gay, wrinkled men here. They’re all staring at me and the water is so cold — you look teeny.
Dude: I know, I should have just had you walk around naked at home.
–Gunnison Beach, Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Tourist: Hey! You guys musta cleaned up real good after all the hurricanes last year. Everything looks brand new again.
Beach attendant: Excuse me?
Tourist: Yeah, you guys did a better job than all those FEMA guys in New Orleans.
Beach attendant: We didn’t get any hurricanes on the West Coast.
Tourist: You must have better levees here then.
Beach attendant: Yeah, we have Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, and the rest of California.
–Laguna Beach, California
Surfer girl #1, sitting on board in the ocean: I hope it doesn't rain, I really don't want my hair to get wet.
Surfer girl #2: Do you listen to yourself when you speak?
Surfer girl #1: I tune in and out.
–One Mile Beach, Australia
Overheard by: Jess
Girl #1: Great, now we can’t go swimming.
Girl #2: Why not?
Girl #1: ‘Cause it’s raining. That’d be, like, double wet.
Girl #2: Oh.
–Ocean Grove Beach, Australia
Overheard by: Alex
Drunk guy: She’s done more blow than it snowed last year!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Audrey
Woman at outdoor restaurant, to waiter: Could you please turn down the air conditioning? I'm cold.
–Waikiki, Hawaii
Little black girl, as it starts to rain: It be droplin'!
–Elm Creek Beach, Minnesota
Overheard by: Life Guard
16-year-old girl: Look, a rainbow!
16-year-old boy: Yeah… Do you know how rainbows are made?
16-year-old girl: Of course — when the sun hits the mountains–
16-year-old boy: –Okay, I’m gonna stop you there before you say something stupid.
–Reykjavík, Iceland
Overheard by: RoKKeRiNN
Woman: So, since the hurricane is coming, are they going to put up the hurricane shield?
Municipal employee: Hurricane shield?
Woman: Yes, the hurricane shield. Doesn’t the city have a shield you put up to block the wind and such from the hurricane?!
Municipal employee: Ma’am, no such thing exists.
Woman, sarcastically: Well, aren’t you guys just the most prepared beach town in America!
Municipal employee: Have a wonderful day, ma’am.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Cebastian
